Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a vigilante hacker deploys a power-hungry corporation?s experimental software that controls reality, she must exploit the resulting bugs to evade capture and foil their treacherous plot to enslave the world.
I would argue that the inciting incident, since the goal is to foil the plot and save the world, is the moment she realises what their plan is. Maybe she illegally hacks their reality software and discovers the next iteration of their software will do something bad - then her goal is to stop that. WRead more
I would argue that the inciting incident, since the goal is to foil the plot and save the world, is the moment she realises what their plan is. Maybe she illegally hacks their reality software and discovers the next iteration of their software will do something bad – then her goal is to stop that.
Why does she deploy this new software? I see no motivation for a hacker to do this? What does she stand to gain by deploying it?
Why does the corporation want to enslave the world? How precisely are they going to do that? They’re already enslaved in a “virtual reality” anyway right? Surely we’re getting a little too close to The Matrix now?
I like the idea but I think it’s lacking a hook and something that ties it all together.
See lessAfter two job-seeking programmers accidentally install a greedy biotech corporation’s experimental software update to reality itself, they must exploit the resulting bugs to evade capture and fix the world.
I have lots of questions. How exactly do they accidentally install a software update to reality?? Reality is just that. Real. Unless it's all a computer programme a la The Matrix. If that's the case then we kinda need that info as part of the set up. Even then though, surely that would be pretty heaRead more
I have lots of questions.
How exactly do they accidentally install a software update to reality?? Reality is just that. Real. Unless it’s all a computer programme a la The Matrix. If that’s the case then we kinda need that info as part of the set up. Even then though, surely that would be pretty heavily guarded… not like you’re just gonna find a random USB port that two random job-seekers can accidentally access. I simply can’t get my head around this. I think it either needs further clarification or a rethink.
What does the experimental software do? This is fundamental to understanding the plot. Without this, we have no idea how they can use it to their benefit and ultimately “fix the world”. When you say “fix the world” do you mean “correct the mistake they made by installing the software” or “make the world a better place”?
See lessFollowing the death of their beloved mentor, three warriors from rival kingdoms join forces to battle against a dying Prince who declares war upon his entire generation.
Surely the inciting incident is the moment the dying prince declares war?? What bearing does the death of the mentor have on the story? The inciting incident is the moment in the hero's life that upsets the balance in their life and provides them with the goal of trying to correct this imbalance. IfRead more
Surely the inciting incident is the moment the dying prince declares war?? What bearing does the death of the mentor have on the story? The inciting incident is the moment in the hero’s life that upsets the balance in their life and provides them with the goal of trying to correct this imbalance. If their goal is to defeat the prince, then the inciting incident MUST relate to the prince.
If the prince is dying anyway… how long’s he got?
It sounds like these three warriors are the only people fighting against the prince? Is that the case? Or are these three like generals and they combine their armies?
Why does the prince declare war upon his entire generation? It sounds a bit “evil for the sake of evil” and two dimensional. Maybe unpack this a little.
I would recommend choosing one of the three warriors to be the protagonist. Consider Jaws. Whilst there are 3 main characters (Brody, Quint, and Hooper) the story is told from Chief Brody’s perspective. All three characters have very different reasons for wanting to kill the shark but their goal is ultimately the same. One of your warriors needs to be the emotional conduit for the audience as this will help them to connect with the story as a whole.?Since your three warriors are rivals, despite being trained by the same guy, they surely have different approaches, ideologies, morals, and ethics?
Hope this helps.
See less