Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
In a bid to reduce population, the dead are allowed to live again virtually, and when it becomes illegal for living people to post their opinion online, billions commit suicide while others risk their lives.
This isn't really a logline. It's simply setting the stage. We need an individual story within this world to follow - our protagonist's story. Check out the formula or give the generator a go - links at the top. Both of these are really useful resources when it comes to creating a good logline. HopeRead more
This isn’t really a logline. It’s simply setting the stage. We need an individual story within this world to follow – our protagonist’s story.
Check out the formula or give the generator a go – links at the top. Both of these are really useful resources when it comes to creating a good logline.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter peeing on a stick, an aging party girl who has it all: the fiance, the house, the job .. and the crippling anxiety ? must decide if she?s ?old enough? to have her baby.
Peeing on a stick isn't the inciting incident, it's the discovery that she's pregnant. You could still write this in a comedic way - "After her pee covered stick reveals that she's pregnant" You use 17 words to describe the protagonist. It's common to use only 2 or 3 because the rest of the word couRead more
Peeing on a stick isn’t the inciting incident, it’s the discovery that she’s pregnant. You could still write this in a comedic way – “After her pee covered stick reveals that she’s pregnant”
You use 17 words to describe the protagonist. It’s common to use only 2 or 3 because the rest of the word count should be used to discuss her objective goal and how she’s going to try and achieve that. Which leads me to the goal. Making a decision is not an objective goal. Imagine watching someone making a decision. Could take 5 mins, could take 5 years, but all the action is happening inside the character’s head. Unless you’re going to visually illustrate her decision making process (which should probably come across in the logline) there needs to be something happening that is visually interesting for the audience. Using an objective goal that represents her internal struggle is where you need to take this.
I’m also guessing this pregnancy is unplanned. I think that’s an important point to clarify.
I can’t help but think if she’s got the fianc?, job, house, etc… her life seems pretty settled. If you want this to be a HUGE thing in her life surely she needs to be someone who is so far away from not only wanting it but also practically being ready for it. Imagine she’s been with a guy for 2 years on and off, she’s a part time waitress and changes jobs a lot, she’s constantly borrowing money, and she finds out she’s pregnant. Maybe her parents are catholic too…? So now, she has external conflicts, practical limitations, but still enough stability to make an abortion not such an obvious or easy choice. The decision to keep the child happens at the end of Act I, then the rest of the film is about her preparing, physically and mentally, to be a mother.
This is just my take on it so feel free to disregard if it’s not remotely the story you want to tell.
Hope this helps.
See lessIn a world where people are segregated and opposed depending on their birth month, men born in the month of January every few years are sent to an isolated island to fight to the death to provide live entertainment to millions of worldwide viewers.
Other than the method of choosing and that it's all men, how is this idea different to Hunger Games? Or Battle Royale? With both of these examples, there is a reason this is done ?(it's quite similar) - government control. I'm not saying it has to be very different but there has to be something thatRead more
Other than the method of choosing and that it’s all men, how is this idea different to Hunger Games? Or Battle Royale? With both of these examples, there is a reason this is done ?(it’s quite similar) – government control. I’m not saying it has to be very different but there has to be something that sets it apart to be noticed.
At the moment, this is simply the world in which the story is set. This has all happened before the opening credits and through a couple of exposition heavy scenes will be relayed to the audience within the first 5 minutes or so. What is the actual story you’re trying to tell? Who is the protagonist? It’s random chance that he’s selected… is there a way for him to volunteer (as per Katniss in Hunger Games – classic save the cat moment)? I’m guessing his goal is survival… but to what purpose? What statement are you trying to make with a film like this?
I definitely think there’s more to be had from this idea but I want it to stand out from similar (and incredibly well known) alternatives.
The most important thing at the moment though is to turn this into a logline rather than simply a summary of the world in which the film is set. Check out the formula page to help with formatting and give the Generator a go – it’s a really useful tool!
Hope this helps.
See less