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After accidentally causing the death of his best friend and co-worker who plummeted to his death, ?a professional bungee jumper struggles with crippling acrophobia whilst confronting his guilt and loss.
Comedy??? Are you sure?As far as his goal goes "struggles with crippling acrophobia whilst confronting his guilt and loss"... what is this going to look like on screen and how is it going to sustain a 90min+ runtime? Film is a visual medium so I'd recommend giving him an objective goal that represenRead more
Comedy??? Are you sure?
As far as his goal goes “struggles with crippling acrophobia whilst confronting his guilt and loss”… what is this going to look like on screen and how is it going to sustain a 90min+ runtime? Film is a visual medium so I’d recommend giving him an objective goal that represents his internal one e.g. doing the biggest bungee jump in the world or something.?
See lessAfter discovering her utopian town is the result of a government experiment, a tenacious teenage girl must reverse the symbiosis before it becomes permanent, or risk a fate worse than repressive governmental overreach: being just like everyone else.
You've put this down as a Comedy but currently I struggle to see where the humour is coming from. As Richiev said, it's a solid throwback to 60's sci-fi horror, so I'd consider putting it in either sci-fi or horror genres. It doesn't mean it can't have elements of comedy in (I'm not sure if you canRead more
You’ve put this down as a Comedy but currently I struggle to see where the humour is coming from. As Richiev said, it’s a solid throwback to 60’s sci-fi horror, so I’d consider putting it in either sci-fi or horror genres. It doesn’t mean it can’t have elements of comedy in (I’m not sure if you can put loglines in two categories on this site) but it’s core genre, in my mind, is not a comedy.
“Teenage girl” – Is she 13 or 19? To me, it could make a big difference to the story so consider being more specific and give us her actual age.
I agree with the others re: the symbiosis bit. It’s never explained what the government experiment actually is so then discussing reversing a symbiosis is a little confusing. Consider unpacking the government experiment as this will likely form a key part in the story, themes, and tone of the story. The nature of that experiment is key to understanding the story.
I like this idea. Stick with it!
See lessIn the midst of the swinging sixties, a racist, yet charismatic con man inexplicably befriends a black jewel thief and decides to steal a four million dollar painting from a heavily guarded and elaborate art museum.
I'm not sure anything should be happening "inexplicably" in a screenplay. Everything happens for a reason. As dpg and Richiev have said, there needs to be another reason for why this happens in the first place. Think about it this way, a con man's job is to commit cons. A thief's job is to steal. SoRead more
I’m not sure anything should be happening “inexplicably” in a screenplay. Everything happens for a reason.
As dpg and Richiev have said, there needs to be another reason for why this happens in the first place. Think about it this way, a con man’s job is to commit cons. A thief’s job is to steal. So for these two characters, there is nothing happening that is out of the ordinary. But there needs to be an event that makes this job the one that’s worth showing to the audience.
For maximum conflict these two have to be forced to work together. He’s racist, he’s part of the black power movement. It’s pretty standard but it works.
I like this idea. I’m seeing an Ocean’s 11 but written and directed by Shane Black type thing.
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