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A girl was murdered and the investigator and her friends are trying to find the murderer and they are hampered by what they have avoided every summer But it has already begun
I'm a little confused and that's never a good place to start with a logline. Why are the investigator's friends getting involved? Surely that's, at the very minimum, against regulations. Or is it the murdered girl's friends??What are they hampered by that they have avoided every summer? Is this relaRead more
I’m a little confused and that’s never a good place to start with a logline.
Why are the investigator’s friends getting involved? Surely that’s, at the very minimum, against regulations. Or is it the murdered girl’s friends??What are they hampered by that they have avoided every summer? Is this relating to the friends? The investigator? Or all of them? What has already begun?
A logline is designed to give a reader a complete summary of the story in under 35 words (ideally). It should cover the inciting incident, the main character (and a characteristic – preferably something that gives us a clue as to who they are), their goal, the stakes (preferably), a ticking clock (optional), and the antagonistic forces working against them.
They shouldn’t be left with questions or left to make assumptions about what’s actually going on. A producer will never look any further if they simply don’t understand the story.
Check out the ‘Our formula’ tab to help with formatting and try to break your story down to its essential components.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a Bible Schoolteacher is brutalized by two racist cops, he must kill or be killed.
Is this bible schoolteacher black/asian/latino? If it's a film about race then we kinda need that info - I can assume... but that's never a good idea. So he's been beaten up by two racist cops... why does he know have to kill them? The inciting incident is past tense... it's happened... so why is thRead more
Is this bible schoolteacher black/asian/latino? If it’s a film about race then we kinda need that info – I can assume… but that’s never a good idea.
So he’s been beaten up by two racist cops… why does he know have to kill them? The inciting incident is past tense… it’s happened… so why is this teacher in danger of being killed now? Or is the beating still happening?
I get that these cops are racist but would they actually just kill someone for no reason (other than colour of their skin)?
Not sure this falls under the “Superhero” genre either. He has no powers (at least not based on this logline), he’s not being heroic in any way by protecting other people or sacrificing himself. He’s apparently just acting in self-defence. In my book, this doesn’t make him a superhero.
This guy’s very religious too right? Is he really just going to ignore that all for now?
I feel this is just the inciting incident. I want to know the repercussions of this event.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen an amateur trick theif is sentenced to 10 years in prison he is forced to hide in his twin brother?s estate where he is given the opportunity to exchange identity with his brother and must now cheat the locals, his brother?s wife and the police by behaving like a well educated landowner in order to maintain his relationship with his 8-year-old daughter.
At 63 words this is way too long for a logline. Whilst there are all the elements here it could easily be trimmed down to fit within the 35 word recommendation. It doesn't really work for me though. What's in it for the brother? He must be on board! Surely somebody would notice... the wife probably?Read more
At 63 words this is way too long for a logline.
Whilst there are all the elements here it could easily be trimmed down to fit within the 35 word recommendation.
It doesn’t really work for me though. What’s in it for the brother? He must be on board! Surely somebody would notice… the wife probably?
Why not make him an identity thief and he figures out a way to send his twin brother away for a month and all he wants to do is spend his daughter’s next birthday with her. Something more plausible.
“When jail time will make him miss his daughter’s 10th birthday, ?an identity thief must find a way to “borrow” his twin’s life to avoid prison for a month and be there for her special day”
I would watch this!
Hope this helps.
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