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A millionaire buys a 77-year-old plane. The broken machine will be restored for five years. After that, he and his son fly on historic routes around the world.
How is this an action film? Where is the action coming from? The impression I get from the logline is that there'll be a section of the film dedicated to the 5 years where the plane is restored... this isn't that exciting visually and it's definitely not what I'd class as action. What happens on theRead more
How is this an action film? Where is the action coming from? The impression I get from the logline is that there’ll be a section of the film dedicated to the 5 years where the plane is restored… this isn’t that exciting visually and it’s definitely not what I’d class as action. What happens on these historic flights? As Richiev pointed out, where’s the conflict? Where’s the story?
My best advice is to have a read of other people’s loglines and the corresponding comments and try and get a feel for how the story is shaped by the struggle the protagonist has to go through.
See less1) In order to save two girls, a cop must go into the disturbed criminal’s mind to find where the criminal hide them before they die a painful death and risk losing his own mind in the process. 2) With two girls kidnapped and missing and the criminal in custody, a cop gets caught up in a game with a smart yet mentally disturbed criminal in order to find out where the criminal stashed the girls before they die. (Psychological Horror)
Version 1 - I'm a little confused by the "go into the disturbed criminal's mind" bit. Do you mean literally? Like Inception? How does the cop lose his own mind? Version 2 - This reminds me of Silence of the Lambs. If the criminal is in custody how are these girls going to die? Is it simply a waitingRead more
Version 1 – I’m a little confused by the “go into the disturbed criminal’s mind” bit. Do you mean literally? Like Inception? How does the cop lose his own mind?
Version 2 – This reminds me of Silence of the Lambs. If the criminal is in custody how are these girls going to die? Is it simply a waiting game – they’ll die of thirst – or has he anticipated his capture and that’s part of his game (Like Seven)? I want to know what this game actually entails. Is it mind games while they sit and talk? Or is the cop going out and doing tasks like Die Hard with a Vengeance? Be more specific so that the reader can visualise the story a little better.
I want to know where the action is mostly taking place. If it’s largely within the interrogation room at police HQ then I worry that, visually, it’s not very interesting. If the protagonist is journeying inside the criminal’s mind – that could be cool! Definitely needs to be clearer though. Could you just call him a psychic cop? That would possibly be enough to tie up version 1 a little better. I also think this concept is a better hook than anything in version 2. That being said, if this cop is psychic (or whatever) surely it’s pretty easy for him to just locate them. How is this going to be more of a challenge for him?
Interesting concept, I think it just needs to be unpacked a little more.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a troubled teenage mother finds her abandoned newborn is cared for by occultist foster parents, she has 72 hours to save him before he is sacrificed to Devil.
As Richiev has amended in his version, the inciting incident is the moment she knows her baby is in danger. That's the event that ties up with the goal of saving her child. How does she find this out by the way? Not saying it's not possible obviously, I just want to check that it's plausible. Is theRead more
As Richiev has amended in his version, the inciting incident is the moment she knows her baby is in danger. That’s the event that ties up with the goal of saving her child.
How does she find this out by the way? Not saying it’s not possible obviously, I just want to check that it’s plausible. Is there a wider conspiracy involving the people who determine the foster parents of these kids? Or are these foster parents just really good at hiding who they really are?
Interesting idea!
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