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Title: The Getaway When a retired from crime convict is released from prison she must redeem herself to win back the trust of her daughter. But when her daughter ends up kidnapped by a criminal mastermind, she is put through multiple lethal corrupted jobs, to save her child before its too late, and risk going back to prison which she vowed to leave forever.
Why does the antagonist kidnap the daughter? What's in it for the mastermind? A bad guy doesn't just kidnap someone for nothing, especially if they're going to great lengths to put the protagonist through this series of challenges. It's obviously personal, so tell us what this connection is. RiskingRead more
Why does the antagonist kidnap the daughter? What’s in it for the mastermind? A bad guy doesn’t just kidnap someone for nothing, especially if they’re going to great lengths to put the protagonist through this series of challenges. It’s obviously personal, so tell us what this connection is.
Risking going back to prison is kinda a given. The fact the jobs are dangerous is kinda a given. She’s a criminal… goes with the territory. So what are the real stakes? And why?
See lessA soldier fighting in Vietnam is blackmailed by US Government agents into assassinating anti-establishment rock stars Jim Hendrix,? Jim Morrison and John Lennon.
Ooooh... that's sparked my interest. In a plot involving blackmail, it's essential you tell us what's on the table. What does he lose if he doesn't? Is there any truth to this? Conspiracy theory? Or your own original idea? There is most definitely a story here and a strong hook! I wonder though, ifRead more
Ooooh… that’s sparked my interest.
In a plot involving blackmail, it’s essential you tell us what’s on the table. What does he lose if he doesn’t?
Is there any truth to this? Conspiracy theory? Or your own original idea?
There is most definitely a story here and a strong hook! I wonder though, if it would be stronger if we followed an FBI agent/journalist in charge of investigating the murders and he starts uncovering the conspiracy. It could potentially be a dual protagonist story but going into it knowing who the killer is and that he is being blackmailed by the government takes away a huge chunk of story. By the end of Act I, the soldier would begin his assassinations… where does the story go from here? Instead, imagine it starts with the FBI agent investigating the death of Jimi Hendrix and he has no idea what’s going on. But something fishy is going on. Then Jim Morrison turns up dead too….! Then we get this “All the President’s Men” style investigation. Lots of shady dealings, drip fed information. But the case goes quiet until 1980 when John Lennon dies. Suddenly the investigation picks back up. All this is interspersed with a story about the soldier that gradually reveals his situation and the blackmail. Only for the soldier to be assassinated too at the end of Act II.
Over 10 years, an ambitious journalist investigates the deaths of anti-establishment rock stars Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and John Lennon, uncovering a huge government conspiracy as he searches for the lone assassin and undeniable proof.
This has David Fincher all over it!
See lessA country footballer is on a quest to avenge his mother’s murder, find a missing woman and put his team on the road to premiership glory.
Country footballer... do you mean he plays for his country? Or he lives in the countryside? I think it would be better to replace this word with an adjective that hints at his arc. So what's his biggest flaw? I can understand the goal to get his team on the road to Premiership glory. Finding a missiRead more
Country footballer… do you mean he plays for his country? Or he lives in the countryside? I think it would be better to replace this word with an adjective that hints at his arc. So what’s his biggest flaw?
I can understand the goal to get his team on the road to Premiership glory. Finding a missing woman… surely that’s the police are for? Avenging his mother’s murder… surely that gets in the way of his goal of putting his team on the road to Premiership glory?
We need to know what the event is that kicks this story off. What’s the inciting incident? That will determine the goal.
It feels a little muddled at the moment and I have no idea what sort of film this is. I struggle to see where the action is coming from too.
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