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When Private Investigator Kris Kringle wakes with amnesia, he must use five clues found on his person to retrace his steps, remember his past and save a missing child.
The missing child bit feels a bit tacked on. Surely that's a pretty important detail and ultimately his end goal? This logline could possibly benefit from an MPR. Usually names are discouraged, however, if this is supposed to be a Xmas movie, then it makes sense. If it is a Christmas movie though, IRead more
The missing child bit feels a bit tacked on. Surely that’s a pretty important detail and ultimately his end goal? This logline could possibly benefit from an MPR.
Usually names are discouraged, however, if this is supposed to be a Xmas movie, then it makes sense. If it is a Christmas movie though, I would consider adding a deadline of Christmas Day or something. Just to hammer it home that this is a Christmas movie. Assuming it is obviously.
If it’s not a Christmas movie… why is he called Kris Kringle?
See lessSusan visits her new therapist and talks about events that have happened to her family. Meanwhile, the devil is gathering her ladies of fate to prepare to take over the world.
We don't need names in a logline. It adds no value. It's better to tell us something about Susan instead. Imagine you had a maximum of 3 words to tell somebody as much about yourself as possible. Would you waste one on your name? What has Susan visited her therapist got to do with the devil taking oRead more
We don’t need names in a logline. It adds no value. It’s better to tell us something about Susan instead. Imagine you had a maximum of 3 words to tell somebody as much about yourself as possible. Would you waste one on your name?
What has Susan visited her therapist got to do with the devil taking over the world?? There is no connection and there very much needs to be.
Check out the formula to help with formatting.
See lessA boy is homesick after moving to another country but has disagreements when telling the parents he wants to go back. He then contemplates suicide
This isn't really a logline. Check out the Formula page to help with formatting. There's an interesting story here but there is so much information needed that currently isn't here. Read a few other people's loglines and the comments to get an idea what is expected from a logline.
This isn’t really a logline. Check out the Formula page to help with formatting.
There’s an interesting story here but there is so much information needed that currently isn’t here. Read a few other people’s loglines and the comments to get an idea what is expected from a logline.
See less