1. Posted: October 22, 2021In:

    A duty-bound family woman, unbearably taunted by her cruel husband and co-conspiring offspring, finds release in the joy of serial killing, until seduced by an unsuspecting victim.

    mobiuswest Penpusher

    I also find this intriguing, particularly because it is a female lead involved in possible justified deviant behavior. I would omit a few words from this simply because I feel you may be repeating things, that would then give you more room to add new details if you wished. For example "family" is imRead more

    I also find this intriguing, particularly because it is a female lead involved in possible justified deviant behavior.

    I would omit a few words from this simply because I feel you may be repeating things, that would then give you more room to add new details if you wished.

    For example “family” is implied when you mention the husband and offspring

    “unbearably” possibly remove that and increase the stakes of the word taunted with a stronger word choice?.

    Also “release in the joy” could we not argue any emotion is a release, e/motion = energy in motion could you possibly omit one of those words or rephrase with a stronger word choice.

    “emancipates herself in …..”

    A question, what kid of serial killing is it? Could it be possible to add a little specificity with regards to that?

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  2. Posted: October 21, 2021In:

    With the threat with three years in a Japanese prison looming a foreigner races to find the whereabouts of his two children taken from the apartment he shared with his wife.

    mobiuswest Penpusher

    Thank you very much for the advice, agree completely, will get on it! Jim in Japan.

    Thank you very much for the advice, agree completely, will get on it!

    Jim in Japan.

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  3. Posted: October 14, 2021In:

    A failed private investigator becomes entangled in the disappearance of a 17-year-old girl to clear a large gambling debt.

    mobiuswest Penpusher

    Just finished watching The Chestnut Man https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10834220/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 I enjoyed it, set was clear and the two lead characters had nice character flaws, thought the twist came a little early though.

    Just finished watching The Chestnut Man

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10834220/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

    I enjoyed it, set was clear and the two lead characters had nice character flaws, thought the twist came a little early though.

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