Okay, I’m intrigued but your logline’s too wordy. I also feel it has a lapse in logic. So, the memory chips record the last ten minutes of a person’s memory before his death? How does that help the cops find the killer? What if the victim is blindfolded and dies a really slow death? And if the killer knows that everyone’s implanted with a memory chip, he’d go to great pains to not be seen by the victim before the he does his deed. Lots of ways to avoid capture, no?

When I draft loglines, I sometimes look at the loglines of movies that my script have been inspired by. This has shades of Minority Report. It’s logline is: In a future where a special police unit is able to arrest murderers before they commit their crimes, an officer from that unit is himself accused of a future murder.

My stab at it:

In a future where citizens are implanted with memory chips, a rookie detective in the special Recall Unit? investigates a serial killer which leads him to someone in his own department.

Best of luck!