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A grieving couple?s predictable world gets upended when a mysterious child, who looks just like the nine-year old son they lost 7 years before, shows up on their doorstep. Looking to spice up this logline, appreciate any and all feedback.
Hey Geno, This is my little vampire drama - you read an early draft this spring. Changed the title (originally Bare Bones) and have another rewrite pending before I seriously consider querying it, hence the logline polish. From what you remember of the script, am I doing the logline a disfavor by noRead more
Hey Geno,
This is my little vampire drama – you read an early draft this spring. Changed the title (originally Bare Bones) and have another rewrite pending before I seriously consider querying it, hence the logline polish.
From what you remember of the script, am I doing the logline a disfavor by not mentioning the supernatural element?
Thanks,
See lessMonique
A grieving couple?s predictable world gets upended when a mysterious child, who looks just like the nine-year old son they lost 7 years before, shows up on their doorstep. Looking to spice up this logline, appreciate any and all feedback.
Okay, accidentally appended this part "Looking to spice up this logline, appreciate any and all feedback" to the logline, can't edit so please ignore!!
Okay, accidentally appended this part “Looking to spice up this logline, appreciate any and all feedback” to the logline, can’t edit so please ignore!!
See lessPresident Hauter has to choose ? use illegal methods to ensure continued peace and stability in her region, or stand by and allow women and infants? lives be endangered. After the Zero Birth Years, scientists designed artificial wombs and solved the crisis of global infertility. Now a company has developed hormonal treatments that have jolted five women into fertility and potential motherhood. And they're running a competition to see if one of them can survive pregnancy and childbirth.
Children of Men meets Hunger Games? There?s an interesting dystopian vibe about your logline but honestly, the first part of your logline feels disconnected to the second part. How they relate to each other feels muddled ? the human race has a fertility problem so babies are raised in vitro via artiRead more
Children of Men meets Hunger Games?
There?s an interesting dystopian vibe about your logline but honestly, the first part of your logline feels disconnected to the second part. How they relate to each other feels muddled ? the human race has a fertility problem so babies are raised in vitro via artificial wombs. Then a company discovers a hormonal treatment that may be the answer to fertility but the 5 pregnant test subjects have to compete to be the one to bring a child to term? Why can only one woman bring her baby to term? Also, the choice of a president as the protag feels a little passive ? a president is active by legislating ? not the most cinematically engaging. Unless your president does some actual ass-kicking 🙂
Protag ? President Hauter
Goal ? prevent the pregnant Hunger Games?
Antag ? company that wants to hold the pregnant Hunger Games
Stakes – ? If Hauter prevents pregnant Hunger Games then babies still can be born in vitro, so back to square one
Hook ? ? pregnant Hunger Games
Just a thought: what if the villain (the hormonal treatment company) sells the fertility treatment to those who can pay (the 1%) and hold a lottery for the commoners (the 99%) and those chosen compete in a type of competition to get pregnant?
Best of luck!
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