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When a magic notebook that kills who has a name written on it falls in the hand of a student that uses it to kill criminals, the law enforcement must find a way to stop him.
"Can a great plot overcome a bad hook?" Funny enough, this is something I've been thinking lately. If you think about a logline for Game of Thrones, many producers may be very unimpressed by the logline alone. a good one I've found with google: "When the king is murdered, noble families from acrossRead more
“Can a great plot overcome a bad hook?”
Funny enough, this is something I’ve been thinking lately. If you think about a logline for Game of Thrones, many producers may be very unimpressed by the logline alone.
a good one I’ve found with google:
“When the king is murdered, noble families from across the realm of Westeros go to war for control of the Iron Throne, even as a supernatural menace looms in the cold reaches of the North.”
“ice zombies”.. “dragons”… “battle for the throne”.. tell me where the hook is, a producer would say.
It’s hard to pin point since the story isn’t finished yet but if we consider Jon snow is the main protagonist and think about the logline
“When an young bastard volunteers to the cold frontier watch, he must convince allies and enemies to unite against the supernatural threat coming from the cold lands of the north.” Needs polishing but something like that.. but not impressive at all and don’t make the story’s justice. Perhaps a case of plot trumps hook?
Daenerys look a little better for a logline, but still, dragons, fire imunity.. can’t find a significant hook.
See lessWhen a magic notebook that kills who has a name written on it falls in the hand of a student that uses it to kill criminals, the law enforcement must find a way to stop him.
Thanks for the comment dgp, in fact I've read the manga and now I'm watching the animated TV series, before getting into the film since the movie adaptation seems to be a prime example of how to not adapt a story to a movie hehe (4.6 on imdb while the comics and animation have solid reviews). Also iRead more
Thanks for the comment dgp, in fact I’ve read the manga and now I’m watching the animated TV series, before getting into the film since the movie adaptation seems to be a prime example of how to not adapt a story to a movie hehe (4.6 on imdb while the comics and animation have solid reviews). Also in comics, the goal is altruistic, but maybe it’s not. He says he wants to be the God of this new world without criminals, but then, where do draw the line of altruism and vanity??? It reminds me of Saint Anton (not sure if it’s the correct english name) that lived in a cave, refusing all temptations of the devil and when he was dying of old age, the devil said
See less” Damnit I give up” and turned away. And when he turned away, St. Anton said
“Thank you Lord, now I can die as I lived. As a Saint.”
And at this very moment, the devil turned around and said “A-h?! Vanity!”
But back to the logline, I’ve put “law enforcement” because Raito (protagonist) faces several antagonists from the law enforcement, including his father, L and the L’s successors. Since the line is drawn very clear between Raito’s line of thought/action and the police, it seemed like “law enforcement” could suit well… what do you think?
When his friend is kidnapped by ruthless thugs, an ex con trying to get his life together, must save her using ninja skills accidentally acquired through a backyard sobriety experiment. Comedy/Drama
haha I got it. Yeah, I feel the problem with being wordy. It seems that some situation really don't fit the "if-then". When a brain experiment goes wrong, a town drunk acquire ninja skills and seek to save his kidnaped friend before the skills expire. The problem I think is that the inciting incidenRead more
haha I got it. Yeah, I feel the problem with being wordy. It seems that some situation really don’t fit the “if-then”.
When a brain experiment goes wrong, a town drunk acquire ninja skills and seek to save his kidnaped friend before the skills expire.
The problem I think is that the inciting incident seems to be the kidnapping…? other more experienced users hopefully will contribute in.. but if you use it as inciting incident:
When a friend got kidnapped, a town drunk volunteer to a brain experiement that fails but gives him ninja skills. He must rescue her before the skills expire. Ops 2 sentences.
See less