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When faced with the agony of getting jobs after graduation, a hapless hair metal band goes on the road trip from hell for a shot at a huge record deal but a jaded former classmate works for the label and will stop at nothing to see them flop.
Why MUST they get a record deal? Most bands and musicians want a record deal, what is different about this band that makes their story of getting a record deal worth telling? In other words, what is the specific event that motivates them to take action in order to get the record deal? Secondly, whatRead more
Why MUST they get a record deal? Most bands and musicians want a record deal, what is different about this band that makes their story of getting a record deal worth telling? In other words, what is the specific event that motivates them to take action in order to get the record deal?
Secondly, what is at stake? So what if they don’t get the deal, what’s the worst that will happen? Much like many other bands they’ll all get jobs and move on with their lives?
The jaded classmate can be cut, he isn’t presenting any SPECIFIC obstacles in the logline – “…will stop at nothing…” means nothing, as it doesn’t describe and specific event or action. However, if he were to be in a rival band who are also targeting a record deal with the same label then the obstacle is made clear.
For example:
After their lead singer is diagnosed with throat cancer, a metal band have one a month to score a record deal before he loses his voice forever.
This isn’t very good but it illustrates the idea that as a result of a single event the main characters became motivated to take action in pursuit of a single goal. You could make it terminal cancer so he will die instead of just lose his voice and the same applies only a bit more morbid.
See lessWhen a space trucker saves Elvis Presley from assassination he must return to Earth, a planet that abandoned him as a child, and recover Presley’s hidden time machine to prevent it from being used to destroy the galaxy.
There are three versions of the same logline in this one thread, I'll refer to the most recent iteration. There is a disconnect between the first half of the logline and the second half, as previously mentioned, a logline needs to illustrate the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incRead more
There are three versions of the same logline in this one thread, I’ll refer to the most recent iteration.
There is a disconnect between the first half of the logline and the second half, as previously mentioned, a logline needs to illustrate the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and goal or risk confusing the reader.
When a reader first reads that Elvis is saved from an assassination it puts very specific ideas in the reader’s mind, such as Elvis befriending his new savior or that Elvis will appoint him to be his personal bodyguard. However, for the MC to then be made out to save the entire galaxy is entirely unexpected as it doesn’t logically flow on as a result of Elvis being saved. The two actions are being forced together into the one logline with no connection to each other.
A lack of cause and effect will render a logline unclear.
See lessWhen a young ward of the state is fostered to a crazy family planning a heist, he sets out to find his real father before being forced to engage in criminal activities that will see him back in juvenile prison.
The freedom to express one's thoughts is a fundamental building block of modern society, therefore segregating the ability to write about certain subjects and characters as privileges belonging to only one particular culture and not another is wrong.? In other words, anyone can write any story - thaRead more
The freedom to express one’s thoughts is a fundamental building block of modern society, therefore segregating the ability to write about certain subjects and characters as privileges belonging to only one particular culture and not another is wrong.? In other words, anyone can write any story – that’s the beauty of story.
I urge you to explore any subject matter, theme or culture as long as it is a story necessity. However, for greater authenticaty, you would need to do your research and consult with individuals of a particular culture you’re writing about.
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