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While shooting their first music video, a local metal band on the rise quickly realizes that the urban legend surrounding their filming location is true: When people enter, they don?t exit.
Agreed with the above. Also, it would be better to specify who of the band members is the main character. It's clear they're all in ganger and they all have to work together, but it would be better for you to identify the central character through whom we gain access to the story.
Agreed with the above.
Also, it would be better to specify who of the band members is the main character. It’s clear they’re all in ganger and they all have to work together, but it would be better for you to identify the central character through whom we gain access to the story.
See lessPresent day: After his mother is accidentally killed during a father-son quarrel, a young martial artist must find his long-lost uncle – to explain his mother’s dying words, while he is relentlessly pursued by his father, a martial arts master who has vowed to kill him.
Fulfilling a loved one's dying wish is often used as a goal by novice logliners, but rarely works. Whether it's fulfilled or not, it usually has little tangible impact on the character and world of the story - this means that the stakes are low. Also, if a character is compelled to do something forRead more
Fulfilling a loved one’s dying wish is often used as a goal by novice logliners, but rarely works. Whether it’s fulfilled or not, it usually has little tangible impact on the character and world of the story – this means that the stakes are low. Also, if a character is compelled to do something for a dead parent, they’re essentially following someone else’s dictum and not their own.? However, driven and independent characters are commonly more interesting.
Is the character guilt ridden? Did the son kill the mother?
See lessA? newcomer in New York City,? befriends a lovely housewife who’s harboring a dark secret from them.
What prompts the fight in the first place? In other words, it's not clear what the inciting event is. Also, you would need to specify which of the two is the primary antagonist, the criminals or the Russian gangster. Lastly, what is the connection between the vampier setting and the fight against thRead more
What prompts the fight in the first place? In other words, it’s not clear what the inciting event is. Also, you would need to specify which of the two is the primary antagonist, the criminals or the Russian gangster.
Lastly, what is the connection between the vampier setting and the fight against the criminals? It feels like the setting is unrelated to the main action of the film.
The best loglines, not only describe the major beats of a story but also illustrate the cause and effect relationships between them.
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