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A rag-tag group of technologically challenged small towners try to thwart a one ship alien invasion.
This describes a situation, not a plot - the primary function of a logline.Best to focus on one main character, not an arbitrary number of individuals. Who specifical will this story be about? And what specifically must they achieve?? How will they thwart the invasion?Check out the Training tab on tRead more
This describes a situation, not a plot – the primary function of a logline.
Best to focus on one main character, not an arbitrary number of individuals. Who specifical will this story be about? And what specifically must they achieve?? How will they thwart the invasion?
Check out the Training tab on the top bar for more details.
See lessAfter a special forces operative witnesses experiments on soldiers & prisoners, he abandons a promising military career & returns to the quiet life. But when a deadly outbreak reeks of government conspiracy & threatens his family, he jumps into the fight to expose the culprits & track down the cure.
It's clear that you're passionate about this concept - a very good thing. However, best not to let our passion stand in the way of accepting notes. There seem to be several repeat comments in this thread, most of which still apply. What is his single, objective and visible to a camera goal?? You menRead more
It’s clear that you’re passionate about this concept – a very good thing. However, best not to let our passion stand in the way of accepting notes. There seem to be several repeat comments in this thread, most of which still apply.
What is his single, objective and visible to a camera goal?? You mention in the logline “…his attempts at redemption…”, which attempt, in SPECIFIC DETAIL, is it that provides him with redemption?
As long as this crucial bit of information is missing from the logline, there is no plot described in it. Think of a plot as the crux of a story and the primary focus of a logline.
See lessAfter a special forces operative witnesses experiments on soldiers & prisoners, he abandons a promising military career & returns to the quiet life. But when a deadly outbreak reeks of government conspiracy & threatens his family, he jumps into the fight to expose the culprits & track down the cure.
The last version of the logline doesn't describe a dramatic premise, and I think you're looking at loglines, in general, in the wrong way.? You've described? an inciting incident in all the logline's iterations - a major event that affects the world of the MC, but you've not described a direct causaRead more
The last version of the logline doesn’t describe a dramatic premise, and I think you’re looking at loglines, in general, in the wrong way.? You’ve described? an inciting incident in all the logline’s iterations – a major event that affects the world of the MC, but you’ve not described a direct causality between that and the Mc’s goal. It remains unclear what he or she MUST achieve by the end of the story, or else a very bad thing will happen.
For a dramatic premise to exist you need a goal and motivation, otherwise it’s just random events loosely connected via geography and character involvement. In essence, a good logline, and by extension a good concept, is made up of three main components; a significant inciting incident, high stakes and a compelling goal.
A few side notes, often the high stakes are best coupled with something personal to the MC, and a good character will be flawed. The flaw is only briefly described in the logline so as to indicate the inner journey, or the lesson, the main character will undergo throughout the story.
If you think all this can’t be achieved in a single (approximately 30 words or less) logline, I invite you to read through the multiple examples posted already in other threads and study the Training tab up top again. There is a formula for logline construction, and it works not as a formula for the creative process of story invention, rather purely as a structuring tool to help writers include all the necessary elements in a logline.
Back to your logline, what MOTIVATES the MC to HAVE to achieve the specific GOAL?
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