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After escaping from their previous lives, ten unrelated tenants seek refuge in a shared household to rebuild themselves for the better, only to be hindered by the oncoming cruelties that await them.
What DPG wrote. I'll only add that a good story needs a powerfully motivated character. This is best achieved?in the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and the goal, however in this instance the logline doesn't describe a single specific and significant event as the incitingRead more
What DPG wrote.
I’ll only add that a good story needs a powerfully motivated character. This is best achieved?in the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and the goal, however in this instance the logline doesn’t describe a single specific and significant event as the inciting incident.
See lessWhen an orphan turned assassin in training disobeys killing her target, she is thrown into the lower ranks of the Assassin’s Guild, working as a servant, trying to work her way up only to discover her parents? killer walking the hallways and finding a record that showed her village?s demise was paid-for, not random and now she must find out the reason why her village was a target, and more importantly, who was responsible for it.
Agreed with the above. This is too long for a logline. Best you review the Training tab up top to understand what the critical components are of a logline. Here is, in short, the key points: Who is the main character? - clear MC description What does he or she want? - a goal. What is preventing themRead more
Agreed with the above.
This is too long for a logline. Best you review the Training tab up top to understand what the critical components are of a logline.
Here is, in short, the key points:
Who is the main character? – clear MC description
What does he or she want? – a goal.
What is preventing them from getting what they want? – an obstacle.
Answer ONLY the above questions in a single sentence, and we will be able to help you construct a logline from that.
See lessA Russian Orthodox farmer torches his home and leaves with his dog hours before Operation Barbarossa and the Nazis invade Russia.
Why? What is his motivation to spark the flames of distraction so carelessly? It seems as if you're missing an inciting incident, likely this is the event that pushed him to burn-baby-burn the house down. As Richiev asked, to what end? What goal does he hope to achieve? Lastly mentioning specific miRead more
Why?
What is his motivation to spark the flames of distraction so carelessly? It seems as if you’re missing an inciting incident, likely this is the event that pushed him to burn-baby-burn the house down.
As Richiev asked, to what end? What goal does he hope to achieve?
Lastly mentioning specific military campaigns is risky as the reader may well not know the details. I would take out the name of the operation and describe it instead, otherwise the stakes are not clear – most people won’t know what happened in Operation Barbarossa.
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