1. Posted: July 1, 2016In:

    A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Hi Benny. Can I recommend a great book? The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, it's a quick and easy read?with many useful insights that may help with you dilemma - one many writers face all the time. As for your logline, I've read through this thread and it sounds as if you've already dedicated a conRead more

    Hi Benny.

    Can I recommend a great book?
    The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, it’s a quick and easy read?with many useful insights that may help with you dilemma – one many writers face all the time.

    As for your logline, I’ve read through this thread and it sounds as if you’ve already dedicated a considerable amount of time and energy to this concept. It also sounds like there are a few fundamental problems with it, I tend to agree with the others in this thread and believe?that in order to make this concept work, it will need a significant re think and subsequently lot of re writing.

    Your replies, while appreciative and delightfully polite, indicate a degree of resistance to the work these fundamental changes call for, which is perfectly natural. However, it is possibly preventing you from maximising the potential of your story, and as Pressfield writes in his book is preventing you from excelling as a writer. I apologies if I come across as?pretentious, but I do believe this concept requires a ground up re think to ?make the character, his action and his goal work well as elements in a story.

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  2. Posted: June 29, 2016In:

    When two robbers conspire to rob from their rich friend’s arts gallery shop, stealing and selling an ancient sculpture to a ghost arts collector. Their success only attracts an endless torment that taunts them and their families until they retrieve and return their friend’s mysterious artifact.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with the above comments, perhaps if they were to need the money in order to save some one else, while a crime it's a crime for a good reason. This way you could give their modus operandi a Robin Hoodesk characteristic, and give them some for of redeeming quality.

    Agreed with the above comments, perhaps if they were to need the money in order to save some one else, while a crime it’s a crime for a good reason. This way you could give their modus operandi a Robin Hoodesk characteristic, and give them some for of redeeming quality.

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  3. Posted: June 26, 2016In:

    A young man, sets out to defend his hometown when the psycho, who 15 years ago killed the young mans father, escapes from the asylum to begin his new murdering spree.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Except for the MC not being a cop, I'm not sure how this story differs from stories in most police procedural murder/serial murder episodes. Is there something else that can be added to make this story stand out, I ask as it reads like an incredibly familiar scenario - there is a killer on the looseRead more

    Except for the MC not being a cop, I’m not sure how this story differs from stories in most police procedural murder/serial murder episodes. Is there something else that can be added to make this story stand out, I ask as it reads like an incredibly familiar scenario – there is a killer on the loose and the good guy must stop him.
    Perhaps if the MC is in a wheel chair or agoraphobic his obstacle would make his story more interesting/original, or what if the killer had a unique method of berrying people alive so the MC has only a few days to find the victims before they suffocate.

    I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but I genuinely believe the concept falls in the “seen it” category and I also believe in being genuine…

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