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A blacklisted 50s American screenwriter sets out to write the perfect script to win back his job, but an alien fungus slowly dissolves his ability to tell fact from fiction.
Agreed with Richiev and DPG. Also, there seems to be a disconnect between the events. If he was blacklisted, he can't get his job back as long as the blacklist exists, in other words, his goal should be to lift the ban on writers that are found in association with communism. Secondly, the alien aspeRead more
Agreed with Richiev and DPG.
Also, there seems to be a disconnect between the events. If he was blacklisted, he can’t get his job back as long as the blacklist exists, in other words, his goal should be to lift the ban on writers that are found in association with communism. Secondly, the alien aspect doesn’t seem to help or hinder his efforts, it’s a left of field element that seemingly adds very little to the story. If, however, the alien was able to take the shape of another guy who the MC could front through then the two elements can be made to relate to the main story in a direct way.
See lessAfter being arrested for having dangerous future technology, the prison unleashes a hyper aggressive android, loyal to him, upon the police station in an attempt to escape.
This is confusing - "...the prison unleashes a hyper aggressive android..." so the prison guards unleash the android, not the MC? But I thought the MC was the evil genius with future tech...
This is confusing – “…the prison unleashes a hyper aggressive android…” so the prison guards unleash the android, not the MC? But I thought the MC was the evil genius with future tech…
See lessWhen an archaeologist is killed by a god, a student in mythology finds out and goes on the journey to find the weapon that can kill gods, a grotesque monster made back by a medieval monastery father.
Agreed with Richiev - personal stakes make a story more interesting. The wording in the logline is confusing and seems to lack a clear cause and effect relationship. What if the killer god threatens the student's hometown? Here's my try: After an ancient god kills his father, a mythology student musRead more
Agreed with Richiev – personal stakes make a story more interesting.
The wording in the logline is confusing and seems to lack a clear cause and effect relationship. What if the killer god threatens the student’s hometown?
See lessHere’s my try:
After an ancient god kills his father, a mythology student must track down?monks living in a secret monastery to get the only weapon that can kill a deity so he can save his family.