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  1. Posted: March 14, 2020In: Examples, SciFi

    In a future where winners are conceived using genetic engineering, a born loser buys the identity of a winner on the black market so he can fulfill his lifelong dream of space travel.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on March 14, 2020 at 11:58 am

    It's been so long since I saw this, I can't remember exactly what happened. What was the one event that made him have to travel into space at that point in time? If it's a life long dream, why now does he have to achieve it?

    It’s been so long since I saw this, I can’t remember exactly what happened. What was the one event that made him have to travel into space at that point in time?

    If it’s a life long dream, why now does he have to achieve it?

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  2. Posted: February 24, 2020In: Drama

    After finally arriving home after months in hospital with leukemia, a pragmatic pharmaceutical statistician struggles with ?normal? life as he builds himself back up to running 10k races again.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 27, 2020 at 5:21 pm

    Crystalise the goal of running in a single event. Make him want to compete in a specific marathon or win it, otherwise, building himself up is an ongoing ambition, not a goal. Also, it would be better to word it so that one particular event motivated him to do so. After a near-death experience, or aRead more

    Crystalise the goal of running in a single event. Make him want to compete in a specific marathon or win it, otherwise, building himself up is an ongoing ambition, not a goal.

    Also, it would be better to word it so that one particular event motivated him to do so. After a near-death experience, or after surviving cancer…

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  3. Posted: February 24, 2020In: Crime

    When a machete-wielding crew chases a young gang member, he?s forced to drive incognito with a Hassidic geriatric to complete a drug run.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 24, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    Updated version: After a rival gang murder his partner, a drug runner goes incognito with a Hasidic geriatric to hunt down the killers so he can complete his deliveries.

    Updated version:

    After a rival gang murder his partner, a drug runner goes incognito with a Hasidic geriatric to hunt down the killers so he can complete his deliveries.

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