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A bunch of kid had bought a limited edition candy together but only one person can eat it,so they started a fighting competition to win that candy
Yuen497, Much like your other posts, this one lacks an?inciting incident. A plot is a sequence of events and actions taken by a motivated character, the character's motivation is established by the inciting incident but is currently missing from this logline. Another problem with this concept is theRead more
Yuen497,
Much like your other posts, this one lacks an?inciting incident. A plot is a sequence of events and actions taken by a motivated character, the character’s motivation is established by the inciting incident but is currently missing from this logline. Another problem with this concept is the multiple protagonists, it’s best that you specify one main character for the story. Which one of the kids would be the main character?
Please read the ‘Rules’ section before posting again – you’re supposed to review two other loglines for every one you post, a rule you’ve neglected to abide by so far. As a result, any further posts will be deleted.? Other than that, I would guess that English is not your first language and suggest perhaps running the logline through a word processor for help with grammar and spelling. It would be very difficult for a producer to read past some of the rudimentary errors in this first attempt.
See lessA witch want to made a world best perfume but she still left some ingredient to complete it,and she need to get her ingredient from the most dangerous forest in the world.
Yuen497, Welcome on board, we hope the site will be of help to you. Please read the 'Rules' section before posting again - you're supposed to review two other loglines for every one you post, a rule you've neglected to abide by so far. As a result, any further posts will be deleted. It also appearsRead more
Yuen497,
Welcome on board, we hope the site will be of help to you.
Please read the ‘Rules’ section before posting again – you’re supposed to review two other loglines for every one you post, a rule you’ve neglected to abide by so far. As a result, any further posts will be deleted.
It also appears as though you didn’t read the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar, best you study the guidelines for industry standard logline construction. To get you started, the main character (in this case the witch) needs to be motivated by an event that will make him or her want to achieve a goal. In your next version, try to think of an event that will make the witch need to make the world’s best perfume. This will make her a motivated character with a dramatic need.
Other than that, I would guess that English is not your first language and suggest perhaps running the logline through a word processor for help with grammar and spelling. It would be very difficult for a producer to read past some of the rudimentary errors in this first attempt.
Otherwise, we all look forward to reading more of your work.
See lessBeing held responsible for the death of the tiger she took care of, a scared single mother has one chance to save her job as a zookeeper: to tame an untamable tiger.
??That, and the fact that she has no money, would make it a disaster if she loses her job??I disagree ? You lose a job so you tighten the ol? buckle spend less and get another.Your response indicates that you are entirely set on this as your story, yet the rhetoric in most of the comments you?ve recRead more
??That, and the fact that she has no money, would make it a disaster if she loses her job??
I disagree ? You lose a job so you tighten the ol? buckle spend less and get another.
Your response indicates that you are entirely set on this as your story, yet the rhetoric in most of the comments you?ve received is that the premise is flawed and would benefit from change. Study all the comments you?ve already gotten and consider making some fundamental changes to the concept.
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