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Falling in love while helping a cat woman return to her Earth alone leaves an insular college student struggling to maintain his belief in her and find a way through the gateway.
I didn't read the other comments, sorry if I repeat some of the others.This is confusing at best. The MC is the student, but it is unclear what he wants and why?What is the plot in this story? What event starts it, what motivates the MC and what is his goal? To get through the gateway sounds like aRead more
I didn’t read the other comments, sorry if I repeat some of the others.
This is confusing at best. The MC is the student, but it is unclear what he wants and why?
What is the plot in this story? What event starts it, what motivates the MC and what is his goal? To get through the gateway sounds like a step on the way to achieving something else.
If the Catwoman is in danger and he just so happens to be the only one who knows it then you could make it out that his goal is to save her, but as it stands the motivation feels labored and the goal/action are unclear.
See lessAfter being revived from a near drowning, a conservative Christian teen must endure being tormented by an evil dwarf-like creature when his mother doesn’t believe him. (26)
Agreed wth DPG.Also, what specificaly is the MC trying to achieve? To endure? What does endure mean? For how long? When will it end? Or is all the MC wants, is to convince the mother? But then, what happens once she is convinced?
Agreed wth DPG.
Also, what specificaly is the MC trying to achieve? To endure? What does endure mean? For how long? When will it end? Or is all the MC wants, is to convince the mother? But then, what happens once she is convinced?
See lessAfter a childhood encounter with a haunted house, two best friends use their extensive knowledge of all things paranormal to provide enthusiastic, yet extremely unorthodox, investigative services to others experiencing the supernatural, much to the dismay of those they are determined to help.
I like the idea of a paranormal investigator, but it is too similar to Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (season two about to come out by the way) based on Douglas Adams work. I think the MC needs a more defining characteristic aside from knowing a lot about paranormal things, also maybe makeRead more
I like the idea of a paranormal investigator, but it is too similar to Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (season two about to come out by the way) based on Douglas Adams work.
I think the MC needs a more defining characteristic aside from knowing a lot about paranormal things, also maybe make it just one MC instead of two. It also comes across as a bit broad in terms of time line, technically speaking, and according to the logine, their story starts at their childhood and keeps on going into adulthood. I recommend reducing the time span to a more recent event in their lives, such as:
See lessAfter being struck by lighting…
That’s just a cliche suggestion but it illustrates how an event in the now, as apposed to the past, can connect to their actions moving forward.