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After the death of a longtime friend, a man’s forgotten imagination is rekindled by his daughter.
The inciting incident seems vague, how can a person forget his own imagination and how can a friend dying cause that? Other wise, the stakes are not clear, what's the worst that can happen should he not get his imagination back? Perhaps you should add a stakes character or stakes event: i.e the memoRead more
The inciting incident seems vague, how can a person forget his own imagination and how can a friend dying cause that?
Other wise, the stakes are not clear, what’s the worst that can happen should he not get his imagination back?
Perhaps you should add a stakes character or stakes event: i.e the memory and imagination must be restored by a certain date in order to win a competition or help a person close to them?
See lessWhen severe brain trauma hallucination escalates to a pain crippling, suicidal head, a memory broke teen who wants to live, must imagine a super programmer who integrates a virtual reality to recovery
Agreed with Dkpough1. It's difficult to understand what's going on in the story. What is the MC's job and defining characteristic? What does the MC want to achieve and why? What' s stopping the MC from achieving it?
Agreed with Dkpough1.
It’s difficult to understand what’s going on in the story.
What is the MC’s job and defining characteristic?
What does the MC want to achieve and why?
What’ s stopping the MC from achieving it?
See lessTrapped inside their family cottage, a group of detached siblings must battle a vengeful witch and break a centuries old curse on their family.
This sounds like a great horror premise, a containd genre film is what many producers are looking for, and this sounds like one. The logline, as mentioned above, does need some work though. You've mentioned multiple protagonists, which can be done but will work against you in the long run. You're faRead more
This sounds like a great horror premise, a containd genre film is what many producers are looking for, and this sounds like one. The logline, as mentioned above, does need some work though.
You’ve mentioned multiple protagonists, which can be done but will work against you in the long run. You’re far better off specifying one. Can you define one main character for the story? Can you define the event that starts the story for this character? Could it be that one of his or her siblings is killed by the witch? The subsequent goal could be to kill the witch and it needs to be specified in the logline as well.
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