The latest draft doesn’t pin a strong dramatic need up against an equally strong obstacle. Her dream to find true love is a cliche and heavily relies on the audience empathy with the MC, since this is a film and the audience have only just been introduced to the MC, I can’t see that happening – we all want love, what’s so special about this character wanting it as well?

Her abandoning the arranged marriage is not an inciting incident, rather it’s an action she takes in response to a planned event. If, however, she were to un expectedly fall in love (like in the original logline), then it could be seen as an out of the ordinary event that motivated her to take action. The problem then is that this becomes a girl meets boy story, and as with all good girl meets boy stories you need a strong force standing in the way of the lovers being together.

The fact that her family is Muslim is simply not enough, she lives in Norway in 2017 and chances are she has been exposed to Western cultures to the point that archaic traditions such as arranged marriages no longer have a strong hold over her, and the repercussions to her family are negligible. As I previously noted, if they were to be located in a Muslim country where such traditions still are the norm, then the stakes could be seen as high enough for her problem to seem interesting.

Inner turmoil makes for good reading, but not good viewing.

The example discussed above, Locke, was not a huge hit but found a cult following so it worked well to some degree. The conflict was conveyed as exposition via discussions, and I wage lost a large portion of the audience as a result. However, it is a once off rare anomalous example of brilliant directing and acting that made up for a lack of cinematic story telling. There was also the odd scene out of the car in which Locke’s assistant was forced to take action and save the concrete pour, so arguably even Locke had to give the audience a visual representation of action towards a goal.

Point is, it should not be taken as a good example to model a film after, if anything, it should be seen as a cautionary tale. The all shot in a single vehicle sit down drama has been done and anything else will be seen as a rip off – it’s not an original gimmick anymore.

Aside from the above, regardless the visual and blocking style, you need to give the character a need and an obstacle both of which are currently missing in the logline. What’s the worst that will definitely happen if he doesn’t have a life affirming conversation?? And what motivates him to have the conversation?