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An aged bounty hunter returns to town to pay respects to his deceased son, but makes himself a target when he offers to pay his son’s debt owed to his son’s murderers.
The different parts of this puzzle don't seem to fit well together.Why would a man pay his son's killer anything? The deed has been done.Why would the father become a target as a result of offering to pay the money?? There is no logic to him becoming a target.What is it he wants? What is the goal thRead more
The different parts of this puzzle don’t seem to fit well together.
Why would a man pay his son’s killer anything? The deed has been done.
Why would the father become a target as a result of offering to pay the money?? There is no logic to him becoming a target.
What is it he wants? What is the goal that comes about of him becoming the target himself?
Sorry for the negativity, only I think there is a fundamental problem with the logic behind the premise. However, it could be that I miss understood the logline, which could imply another problem all together.
See lessReword: Imprisoned in an apartment with a complete stranger, a humanitarian twenty-something has to a find a way to save the world and its population before her abductors? plan unfolds.
Agreed with Dkpough1, you're better off describing a character flaw than the age.What you suggested are not flaws:? Too demanding of herself (is there an adjective for that? Such as self-judgmental)? Fixated? idealist? self-judgmentalA flaw should be a negative quality, one that would require hard wRead more
Agreed with Dkpough1, you’re better off describing a character flaw than the age.
What you suggested are not flaws:
? Too demanding of herself (is there an adjective for that? Such as self-judgmental)
? Fixated
? idealist
? self-judgmental
A flaw should be a negative quality, one that would require hard work to overcome in order for her to be a better version of herself. For example: arrogant, self-centered, elitist, etc…
Otherwise, this logline is vague in terms of stakes. Sure, you wrote that the world is in danger, but why and in what way? Do the bad guys have a nuce? A bio bomb?
See lessThe nature of the danger they pose is important for the concept, as it will explain what kind of bad guys she is up against.
As a cops races against time to prevent another murder, his own, as he struggles to forgive himself against the misguided belief he?s liable for all these murders.
Pick one inciting event and one goal. What forces the cop into action in your story? Is it a particular murder or a series of them? As a result the goal is to catch the killer, but what's standing in his way? I don't mean the obvious procedural fare - killer is on the run, rather what is it about thRead more
Pick one inciting event and one goal.
What forces the cop into action in your story? Is it a particular murder or a series of them?
As a result the goal is to catch the killer, but what’s standing in his way? I don’t mean the obvious procedural fare – killer is on the run, rather what is it about this particular killer that makes catching him or her harder and more unique than other film and TV killers?
It reads as if you’re trying to indicate that the cop is the killer,? just without saying it specifically. If this is the case, you’de need to find a unique way to deal with a split personality story as they have become some what of a trope.
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