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When the only girl he’s ever known is taken away, a boy must escape the robot who bred him in order to find her.
Agreed with the above the who is important as that's the antagonist - the chief force he'll be facing in his struggle to get her back. Also, there is a disconnect between the story elements. Why must he escape the robot (not sure what that means specifically but I think you intended for him to smuggRead more
Agreed with the above the who is important as that’s the antagonist – the chief force he’ll be facing in his struggle to get her back.
Also, there is a disconnect between the story elements. Why must he escape the robot (not sure what that means specifically but I think you intended for him to smuggle the robot out of a lab or something to that effect) after she is taken? How are these two things connected?
His inciting incident is clear – the girl is taken.
His goal is clear – get the girl.
The problem lies in the cause and effect connection between his actions and the inciting incident, how does one logically lead him to do the other?
See lessWHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT – A couple of high schoolers spend their 4 days of Senior Trip to Jamaica looking for the ghost of Bob Marley.
Agreed with the above. Their motivations are not clear, what was the inciting incident that made them need to find the ghost?
Agreed with the above.
Their motivations are not clear, what was the inciting incident that made them need to find the ghost?
See lessIn Holocaust death camps, teenage Jewish boy Harles Hosser search for his dream girl Ida, who is Hitler’s daughter- Harles tries to prove her that the love’s existence is?strongly between them with the help from Commandant Hoss, than the infatuation he first had when Ida had to lie to him she was a Jew.
Agreed with the above comments.You asked Craig what he thinks about the story, but without a clear understanding of the plot the story is hard to gauge. Therefore, the logline needs to be rewritten before it can receive any practical advice.
Agreed with the above comments.
You asked Craig what he thinks about the story, but without a clear understanding of the plot the story is hard to gauge. Therefore, the logline needs to be rewritten before it can receive any practical advice.
See less