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Suffering from deep psychological scars, the troubled young girl struggles to live a normal life again.
Loglines are made out of clear details, not generic descriptions. In this instance "...deep psychological scars..." could mean any number of things - rape, witnessing a murder, getting beaten up, etc... Similarly "...struggles to live a normal life..." could also mean many things, it's important toRead more
Loglines are made out of clear details, not generic descriptions. In this instance “…deep psychological scars…” could mean any number of things – rape, witnessing a murder, getting beaten up, etc…
Similarly “…struggles to live a normal life…” could also mean many things, it’s important to specify a goal that best embodies a “normal life”, whatever ‘normal’ is…
Point is, through the causal connection of the specific events and actions described in your logline, her emotional problems and needs should be made clear.
I suggest you read up on logline best practice check out the ‘Formula’ tab up top.
To get you started here are a few questions to think about:
See lessWhat is her inciting incident?
What is her external goal?
What is her obstacle?
When all traces of his existence are erased, and his wife and child with a man claiming to be him, a reporter must find out how and why he was deleted to recover his life and family.
In a modern world where one's identity, especially online, is currency losing it could spell disaster.? However, the basic concept would need far too much exposition far too early on for the stakes to be clear. What if his daughter, son, wife or all forget his very existence? This would make the staRead more
In a modern world where one’s identity, especially online, is currency losing it could spell disaster.? However, the basic concept would need far too much exposition far too early on for the stakes to be clear. What if his daughter, son, wife or all forget his very existence? This would make the stakes personal and motivate him to NEED to rectify the situation.
I think getting one’s life back is no big deal, but getting one’s family back is, perhaps make that his goal.
See lessFor example:
After he is erased from his wife and kids’ memory, and anyone else who ever knew him, a journalist must find a way to restore their memories in order to get his family back.
While in coma, a pessimistic former athlete must regain his self belief to help a police force, that operates within collective unconscious of humanity, stop a powerful psychic taking over everybody’s minds.
Agreed with the above. Also, the actions will all be in the MC's mind, much like in Life on Mars, visualized for the audience's benefit. This can be used as either a twist in the end or an established rule of the story world. Is the existence of a psychic police force a known aspect of this world? ORead more
Agreed with the above.
Also, the actions will all be in the MC’s mind, much like in Life on Mars, visualized for the audience’s benefit. This can be used as either a twist in the end or an established rule of the story world.
Is the existence of a psychic police force a known aspect of this world? Or is it something they setup once they, somehow, realize there is a psychic predator on the loose?
The reason for my question is that if it is a regular occurrence in this world, to have psychic criminals being chased by psychic police, then why and in what way is this MC so outstanding to require a story being told about him? What’s so special about this particular coma patient?
However, if this is the first time such a psychic criminal has been identified, then the existence of a police force dedicated to catching psychic criminals doesn’t make much sense. It would make more sense that there are other people stuck in comas who are all somehow connected in their psyche and together form a group that go after the powerful psychic.
See less