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EDIT: After her farm goes into foreclosure, a naive cowgirl falls in love with a misogynistic cowboy, only to find out that they both compete against each other for $100,000 at a rodeo event.
In the latest draft of the logline you still have a logic flaw that nullifies the dramatic premise - she falls for a misogynist in a romance movie. If she falls for a misogynist, then we the audience know she'll realize it at some point - early/mid act 2 or late in act2. Which means the question ofRead more
In the latest draft of the logline you still have a logic flaw that nullifies the dramatic premise – she falls for a misogynist in a romance movie.
If she falls for a misogynist, then we the audience know she’ll realize it at some point – early/mid act 2 or late in act2. Which means the question of whether she’ll choose the love or the money is answered in the audience’s mind before it’s answered on screen – we know she’ll choose the prize money. This means the audience/reader are way ahead of the story. Best choose a different description for the guy, and give her a tough choice to make; money or love.
See lessAfter his son confesses a murder to him, an obsessively upright police officer on the brink of a once in a lifetime promotion must use all his power and skills to destroy all evidence before the truth is uncovered.
So the MC is corrupt - this negates the initial character description. That aside, I'm not sure how the audience will take to this, but I dare say, empathy will be a problem.
So the MC is corrupt – this negates the initial character description. That aside, I’m not sure how the audience will take to this, but I dare say, empathy will be a problem.
See lessWhile trying to aid a quadriplegic man with an alternative method, a blind music therapist accidentally materializes an unholy spirit from her patient?s troubled mind, and it?s up to them to fight against it.
The first clause of the logline can be cut - the plot really starts once the spirit is released. However, I suggest you give them a unique method by which they choose to fight it, otherwise, it's a relatively generic monster in the house kind of concept. Could they both be atheists but must performRead more
The first clause of the logline can be cut – the plot really starts once the spirit is released.
However, I suggest you give them a unique method by which they choose to fight it, otherwise, it’s a relatively generic monster in the house kind of concept. Could they both be atheists but must perform an exorcism?? Could they need to find the last Indian shaman left to fight the spirit? Could they be in New Orleans and need to find a voodoo specialist?
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