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In a future when clones are a trillion-dollar corporate secret, an LA homicide detective falsely accused of murder must track down her duplicate to prove her innocence. (UPDATED)
It may seem obvious to you, but the inciting incident (beeing framed) needs to be specified in the logline. For example: After being framed for murder, an LA-based detective must track down her clone to prove her own innocents.
It may seem obvious to you, but the inciting incident (beeing framed) needs to be specified in the logline.
For example:
See lessAfter being framed for murder, an LA-based detective must track down her clone to prove her own innocents.
Two dim-witted best friends battle the internet and their conservative town to keep their porn shop open.
I think this needs rewording so as to position the town folks as the cause of their problems: After conservative town folks force them to close their erotic shop, two best friends attempt to compete with internet suppliers. However, the story is open-ended. In other words, what is the end game for tRead more
I think this needs rewording so as to position the town folks as the cause of their problems:
After conservative town folks force them to close their erotic shop, two best friends attempt to compete with internet suppliers.
However, the story is open-ended. In other words, what is the end game for them? What is their specific goal that they hope to achieve by going online?
See lessIn a future when clones are a trillion-dollar corporate secret, an LA homicide detective falsely accused of murder must track down her duplicate to prove her innocence. (UPDATED)
The premise and location aren't connected to each other - transposing the premise to any other city wouldn't have any impact on the premise. Point is, you can cut the LA and Hollywood descriptions as they are not related to the plot.The premise of a detective being framed for murder is far from origRead more
The premise and location aren’t connected to each other – transposing the premise to any other city wouldn’t have any impact on the premise. Point is, you can cut the LA and Hollywood descriptions as they are not related to the plot.
The premise of a detective being framed for murder is far from original, but the twist that it’s her clone who ‘done it’ freshens it up a bit. I think the stakes and wording of this logline are crucial, they always are but in this instance, the lake of originality at the core of the premise makes it even more so.
For example:
See lessAfter she is framed for murder, a detective must find the culprit – her clone who is a famous actress, in order to avoid a life in prison.