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In tradition of the French new wave films of the 60s, a young tap-gamer struggles with success and relationship strain after a conglomerate buys his game, while the conglomerate chairman frames an African American trash-man for his recent statuiatory rape lawsuit.
This logline is too long, and the plot description fragmented.I think you could benefit from reading up on logline conventions, check out the Training tab on the top bar for more information.To get you thinking in the right direction, who is the main character? The gamer, chairman or trash man? WhatRead more
This logline is too long, and the plot description fragmented.
I think you could benefit from reading up on logline conventions, check out the Training tab on the top bar for more information.
To get you thinking in the right direction, who is the main character? The gamer, chairman or trash man? What is the main character’s goal?
See lessThis thriller follows the life of a genius African-American student, Brad, matriculating at MIT in the 1950?s. At MIT, the curse of his genius drags him into a governmental PR stunt to launch a nuclear missile at the moon in response to the Sputnik satellites ominously orbiting the Earth. When the Russians learn of the plan, his life is put in peril while a larger conspiracy emerges when his professor’s husband learns of their torrid affair.
Agreed with the above comments. A good starting point for you, to re structure this logline,? is to think of one goal what is the one thing he must achieve? Once you've identified his goal reverse engineer the logline accordingly.
Agreed with the above comments. A good starting point for you, to re structure this logline,? is to think of one goal what is the one thing he must achieve? Once you’ve identified his goal reverse engineer the logline accordingly.
See lessBoy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t.
Agreed that different genres and subject matter may require a different approach, however, I believe this post is, if anything, a strong argument for needing an inciting incident. Boy meets girl = inciting incident. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't? = obstacle The goal is implied but not stated - getRead more
Agreed that different genres and subject matter may require a different approach, however, I believe this post is, if anything, a strong argument for needing an inciting incident.
Boy meets girl = inciting incident.
Boy falls in love.
Girl doesn’t? = obstacle
The goal is implied but not stated – get the girl to love him.
If anything this logline proves the need for an inciting incident more than a goal. Haven’t seen the film so I don’t know what happens, but the hook sounds like the girl doesn’t fall in love with him in the film, which is an original twist on the genre. I’d say the originality of the logline and? twist are what sold the concept.
Ultimately, do what ever you need to sell a concept – like DPG’s friend, what a great idea.
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