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After his pregnant wife’s cancer medication gets pulled from the public health system, a hot-headed Aboriginal amateur boxer must steal enough to keep her alive until the birth.
Hi DPG, thanks for that, good version. The MC actually steals medication not money, and I think my logline doesn't reflect this, so how about: After his pregnant wife?s cancer medication is no longer free, a desperate hot-headed Aboriginal resorts to steal enough of the life saving medicine. I leftRead more
Hi DPG, thanks for that, good version.
The MC actually steals medication not money, and I think my logline doesn’t reflect this, so how about:
After his pregnant wife?s cancer medication is no longer free, a desperate hot-headed Aboriginal resorts to steal enough of the life saving medicine.
I left the hot-head description as it’s his character flaw.
Do you think that keeping her alive ?until the birth should mentioned in the logline or is it unnecessary?
And yes the cost of medication is a problem but not nearly as bad as in the US. The secondary theme the story deals with is the unfortunate reality that even in 2016 the average life span of an Aboriginal Australian?is more than a decade less than a none Aboriginal Australian, even more so in the 70s.
See lessA local message carrier, mid 20’s, travels to an island to tell a woman villager her mother died in the city. But something made him keep the news to himself, and begged never to return again.
Did the messenger beg never to return? If so why? And return to where? This sounds interesting because it creates mystery. However, as noted above, the circumstance under which this mystery was created needs clarifying. What was the event that made him react this way? This event needs to be describeRead more
Did the messenger beg never to return? If so why? And return to where? This sounds interesting because it creates mystery. However, as noted above, the circumstance under which this mystery was created needs clarifying.
What was the event that made him react this way? This event needs to be described in the beginning of the logline.
The first sentence of the logline currently seems unrelated to the main plot, does the story start after he arrives at the village? Or before he leaves the city with the message?
See lessAfter his pregnant wife’s cancer medication gets pulled from the public health system, a hot-headed Aboriginal amateur boxer must steal enough to keep her alive until the birth.
Hi moses99. Thanks for that. Him being a boxer is not directly connected to the plot, it only adds a complication for him in act 3. Perhaps best if I cut that part of his description, however as an added aspect to his character do you feel it works? I should also mention that the story is set in 197Read more
Hi moses99.
Thanks for that.
Him being a boxer is not directly connected to the plot, it only adds a complication for him in act 3. Perhaps best if I cut that part of his description, however as an added aspect to his character do you feel it works?
I should also mention that the story is set in 1972, a time rife with discrimination and insensitive policies. In Australia there is a public medical system which provides a certain number of medications to the public for free. Many people rely on the medication in this system, but if a medication is pulled off the free list it will cost people full price. Since he is an amateur boxer with very little money, he can’t afford to pay for it and resorts to theft.
How about:
See lessAfter his pregnant wife?s cancer medication gets pulled from the public health system and is no longer free, a hot-headed Aboriginal must steal enough to keep her alive until the birth.