Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A cinephile becomes a spy and uses his film code to help stop Pakistan and India from starting World War 3.
Agreed with the above comments. The causality between the events and character description doesn't add up. How could a film buff prevent a war? Further more the fact that he was a cinephile before becoming a spy, unless it directly relates to the goal, can be dropped - he's a spy trying to prevent aRead more
Agreed with the above comments.
The causality between the events and character description doesn’t add up. How could a film buff prevent a war?
Further more the fact that he was a cinephile before becoming a spy, unless it directly relates to the goal, can be dropped – he’s a spy trying to prevent a war.?As DPG noted?a film code is an unclear description, and it would best be replaced.
See lessBoxed in a airless cavern, competitive cave divers must plan a headlong exit back to land when a ravenous sea monster breaks their guide lines.
A lot of the descriptions and actions in the logline are confusing.What was the event that resulted in them being trapped in the cave? This would be the inciting incident and needs to be described in the logline. For example: After an earth quake competitive cave divers are trapped in a cave...WhatRead more
A lot of the descriptions and actions in the logline are confusing.
What was the event that resulted in them being trapped in the cave? This would be the inciting incident and needs to be described in the logline.
For example:
After an earth quake competitive cave divers are trapped in a cave…
What is a competitive cave diver? Is this a regulated sport or just a term describing how these people are competitive in nature?
How many divers are involved?
Best to specify one character as the main character, and structure the plot around them instead of having?an arbitrary number of characters.
Lastly the setting is unclear. Are they out at sea? In a cave under the ocean floor? Or in a water filled cave under ground on land that’s connected to the sea?
As the setting, in this instance, plays such a pivotal role in shaping the plot, it’s best to be very clear on where the story is set. More to the point, the plausibility of the story will rely on the plausibility of the characters in the setting.
See lessGault, an ageing Ulster policeman, is wrongly accused of the death of a colleague. The British State conspires against him to protect an agent. The love of his life saves him.
What is the action that the main character takes in order to clear his name? This is what will make his story interesting. After he's framed for a policeman's murder and sentenced to death an ageing detective must escape and?[do something interesting] in order to save his life. I believe you have aRead more
What is the action that the main character takes in order to clear his name?
This is what will make his story interesting.
After he’s framed for a policeman’s murder and sentenced to death an ageing detective must escape and?[do something interesting] in order to save his life.
I believe you have a sound structure here but just lacking the meat on the bone. I made him a detective in order to give him the skills he would need to solve the crime and raised the stakes with a death sentence to add interest. However the main action he takes in the story is not there yet – how will he clear his name?
See less