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Seven art students, all of different talents, find themselves trapped in a museum where they rewrite love, beauty and their own humanity before the groups survival overshadows their bohemian lives.
It's best to post new drafts of the same logline on the original thread, that way you can track changes and see which notes have already been given. About the logline, the concept is vague as there is no clear main characters, goals or stakes. There are also many confusing?descriptions such as: "...Read more
It’s best to post new drafts of the same logline on the original thread, that way you can track changes and see which notes have already been given.
About the logline, the concept is vague as there is no clear main characters, goals or stakes. There are also many confusing?descriptions such as: “…rewrite love, beauty and their own humanity?” – what does that mean in practical terms? What will that look like?
Best to focus your story on one character, sure you could have many characters in the story, but for the logline best to structure a coherent plot around?one character with one goal.
See lessAfter being wrongfully accused of murder, Herakles is sentenced to ten labors as punishment whilst searching for the true killer.
Hi Solosammer In future please re post new drafts of a logline in the same thread as the original, this way we can all keep track of its?developments over time. The wording in this confusing and the concept is unclear. Why must he complete these labours in order to absolve himself? How does this worRead more
Hi Solosammer
In future please re post new drafts of a logline in the same thread as the original, this way we can all keep track of its?developments over time.
The wording in this confusing and the concept is unclear. Why must he complete these labours in order to absolve himself? How does this work connect to the murders?
Secondly which is his goal; to be absolved or find the real killer?
See lessEither way best to specify only one goal in the logline and focus on the plot to achieve it.
When his nuclear experiment erupts and infects a city?s atmosphere, a novice scientist covers up the accident and must concoct a cure before an aspiring journalist uncovers the truth.
Perhaps change it so the experiment eruption is a malicious act carried out by a?rival. This way it isn't his fault and he isn't covering up rather being a hero by saving the city. If there is no cure perhaps he can try and get the city evacuated instead, and at the same time help track down the perRead more
Perhaps change it so the experiment eruption is a malicious act carried out by a?rival. This way it isn’t his fault and he isn’t covering up rather being a hero by saving the city.
See lessIf there is no cure perhaps he can try and get the city evacuated instead, and at the same time help track down the person responsible.