1. Posted: June 7, 2016In:

    EDITED: A frustrated former big-city journalist, now stuck writing for her hometown paper, exploits a local college football scandal to re-jump start her career, but the situation quickly escalates when it threatens to expose her family?s secrets

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    This doesn't describe a plot rather a situation. What is the goal, in detail, that the main character needs to achieve? Why is she desperate now? What's the inciting incident that motivates her to need to achieve her goal? Generic descriptions such as "...a criminal conspiracy.." and "...connected tRead more

    This doesn’t describe a plot rather a situation.

    What is the goal, in detail, that the main character needs to achieve?
    Why is she desperate now? What’s the inciting incident that motivates her to need to achieve her goal?

    Generic descriptions such as “…a criminal conspiracy..” and “…connected to the local, powerhouse college football program.” should be avoided. Better if you describe the detail of the conspiracy and program that make them criminal and wrong instead of literally describing them as such.

    Check out the Training tab on the top bar for more information on how to structure a logline.

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  2. Posted: June 6, 2016In:

    When an alien satellite causes all of Earth’s transmissions suddenly stop, a retired physicist must find a way to bring them back.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    I think it could help to include personal stakes rather than just professional ones, other wise best to change it so that for some reason this retired physicist is the only one who can bring them all back.

    I think it could help to include personal stakes rather than just professional ones, other wise best to change it so that for some reason this retired physicist is the only one who can bring them all back.

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  3. Posted: June 6, 2016In:

    In 1951,a physicist tasked with designing an early thermonuclear bomb, has a lesbian affair with her young lab assistant.She’s determined to complete the difficult design while struggling for survival when she discovers her lover to be a ruthless Soviet spy

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    There appear to be two potential plots here;1 - Lover turns out to be a spy and the scientist must choose to either turn her in or save her then act on her choice. = inciting incident is spy discovery her goal is to protect the love interest.2 - A hydrogen bomb is needed the scientist must fight bigRead more

    There appear to be two potential plots here;

    1 – Lover turns out to be a spy and the scientist must choose to either turn her in or save her then act on her choice. = inciting incident is spy discovery her goal is to protect the love interest.

    2 – A hydrogen bomb is needed the scientist must fight bigotry and sexism to achieve her goal of creating a bomb.= inciting incident is given the task to create a bomb, her goal is to make a bomb.

    Best you chose one of these as the central/A plot and focus the logline accordingly.

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