1. Posted: June 3, 2016In:

    Childhood friends William and Tucker think they’ve both been hired at a Chicago lifestyle magazine, when only one job materializes and is given to William, rather than tell the truth, William signs his friend up to participate in a social experiment pretending it’s an undercover story for the magazine.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    This doesn't read as an industry conventional logline, therefore it will likely not serve as a good pitching tool. It's also confusing and fails to describe a clear plot, and as a result won't be good for use in drafting?a synopsis. As advised above best you read through the Training tab on the topRead more

    This doesn’t read as an industry conventional logline, therefore it will likely not serve as a good pitching tool. It’s also confusing and fails to describe a clear plot, and as a result won’t be good for use in drafting?a synopsis.

    As advised above best you read through the Training tab on the top bar for more information on how to best write a logline.

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  2. Posted: June 3, 2016In:

    Physics professor Alan Richards inspires his students to look at string theory with a different perspective of authentic knowledge and purpose.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with DPG, there is no clear goal in the logline. Also what does "?to look at string theory mean?" will they change their filed of research from Newtonian to string theory? Do they partition for a new facility to be built in the university for this purpose? What does he get them to actually doRead more

    Agreed with DPG, there is no clear goal in the logline.

    Also what does “?to look at string theory mean?” will they change their filed of research from Newtonian to string theory? Do they partition for a new facility to be built in the university for this purpose? What does he get them to actually do?

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  3. Posted: June 2, 2016In:

    A web of tragic events unfold when a love-starved atomic scientist allows herself to be seduced by a personable but moody lesbian teen whom she suspects of being a spy.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    If the concept is a period story then it's perfectly acceptable to specify when it takes place, the time frame and even year if necessary. I think that the addition of Polio adds very little to the character and her obstacles, and if anything complicates the read. Yes it will be harder for her to geRead more

    If the concept is a period story then it’s perfectly acceptable to specify when it takes place, the time frame and even year if necessary. I think that the addition of Polio adds very little to the character and her obstacles, and if anything complicates the read. Yes it will be harder for her to get around with Polio, but in the context of this genre?it won’t impact her as much as in an others such as action adventure for example.

    As DPG wrote, to what end? What will she do once she discovers the lover could be a spy? And what does she stand to lose or gain?

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