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A rebellious spy returns to his hometown when “save the Earth”-promoting terrorists take it over for ransom.
Agreed with DPG. Regarding the structure of the logline it ends on the inciting incident, therefore best to change it so it starts with the event that puts the wheels in motion. After terrorists hold his home town for ransom... In this instance I would suggest specifying one of the terrorists as theRead more
Agreed with DPG.
Regarding the structure of the logline it ends on the inciting incident, therefore best to change it so it starts with the event that puts the wheels in motion.
After terrorists hold his home town for ransom…
In this instance I would suggest specifying one of the terrorists as the antagonist. The most violent one will make for the cliche ‘bad guy’ and if anything help define the action the main character will take.
Lastly good suggestion by Richieve to mention the sister and raise the personal stakes even more.
See lessA cynical programmer gets more than she bargained for when she joins signs up for her own company’s dating app. Torn between her reservations on commitment and the potential for something worthwhile, she must determine for herself if her “perfect match” is exactly that.
Best if you look at the ideal structure for a logline at the 'Training' tab on the top bar. A few points to get you started though: Less is more - 30 words or under are ideal lengths for loglines. Best to describe a plot as appose to only the emotional stakes for a character, this means an event thaRead more
Best if you look at the ideal structure for a logline at the ‘Training’ tab on the top bar.
A few points to get you started though:
Less is more – 30 words or under are ideal lengths for loglines.
Best to describe a plot as appose to only the emotional stakes for a character, this means an event that starts the story and a goal.
See lessThe spawn of a nasty divorce, an arrogantly argumentative teen attends a new school. When senior pranksters torment him, he forms his own clique to counterattack their antics.
The back story description in the logline is unnecessary. Here it is again with out the backstory: After senior pranksters torment him, a troubled teenager forms his own clique to counterattack their antics.This is missing a description of how he intends to counterattack, in other words the goal shoRead more
The back story description in the logline is unnecessary.
Here it is again with out the backstory:
After senior pranksters torment him, a troubled teenager forms his own clique to counterattack their antics.
This is missing a description of how he intends to counterattack, in other words the goal should be described in the logline. Perhaps even describe in more detail the specifics of his public humiliation so we better understand his motivation for revenge, in other words clarify what the inciting incident actually was.
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