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To pay off a debt, an infamous bounty hunter is forced into an unlikely alliance with a young, bookish girl to track down the legendary fortune of an ancient galactic civilization.
Absolving himself means the story's plot connects to the past, whereas most successful films have a plot with a forward motion towards the achievement of a goal in the future. More so absolving himself deals with an internal process which holds no stakes over the present or future. I think the conceRead more
Absolving himself means the story’s plot connects to the past, whereas most successful films have a plot with a forward motion towards the achievement of a goal in the future. More so absolving himself deals with an internal process which holds no stakes over the present or future.
I think the concept, not just the logline, needs adjusting, and I agree with what Richeive wrote – it needs clear immediate stakes and a clear objective outer goal.
See lessA damaged young man finally finds love only to be betrayed by his best friend which pushes him over the edge. He must regain his sanity or continue hurting others.
Agreed with the above comments. Another problem is that the description of "...continue hurting others?" makes for an unlikable character. He hurts people and will keep on doing so unless he gets his way - why would the audience develop empathy towards him?
Agreed with the above comments.
Another problem is that the description of “…continue hurting others?” makes for an unlikable character. He hurts people and will keep on doing so unless he gets his way – why would the audience develop empathy towards him?
See lessWhen a black 10 yr old boy?s father is abducted in apartheid South Africa he must use his lucid dreams to free his father and seek refuge in Australia.
Hi GstarTo clarify I misspelt held as healed so what I meant was "?held against his will?".Regarding the magic power, what I meant was that the magical element doesn't relate to the theme, subject matter or character and therefore feels like an "add on" element. In good fantasy stories magic powersRead more
Hi Gstar
To clarify I misspelt held as healed so what I meant was “?held against his will?”.
Regarding the magic power, what I meant was that the magical element doesn’t relate to the theme, subject matter or character and therefore feels like an “add on” element. In good fantasy stories magic powers are normally integrated into the fabric of the character as a necessity of their existence for example; Gandalf is a wizard – no magic power no Gandalf, Luke is the son of the most powerful Jedi in that galaxy (soon to fight his father) – no magic power no Jedi Luke and E.T is an alien from outer space – no magic power and he’s just a strange looking turtle man. Super hero stories differ as they often dwell on the origin story of the characters, and as a result produce entire films based on these backstories to explain the super powers.
Your story has already got high stakes and clear obstacles, therefore I don’t see the need for magic powers. however if you do insist on including them, perhaps best to change the character to a local tribe’s shaman, or something to that effect, so as to make the magic called for by the character’s very nature.
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