Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
In a near future three close but troubled small-town boys journey alone cross country seeking hope and meaning within a crumbling society exposing them to the realisation that their days as children and lifelong companions may be drawing to an end.
This logline is too vague in its descriptions and fails to describe a plot. Is there a reason for having three main characters? If not then best to focus on one. Seeking hope is not a story worthy goal, in fact I personally find hope to be a necessity for good main characters in general. If they areRead more
This logline is too vague in its descriptions and fails to describe a plot.
Is there a reason for having three main characters? If not then best to focus on one.
Seeking hope is not a story worthy goal, in fact I personally find hope to be a necessity for good main characters in general. If they are indeed facing a great ordeal they will need hope, and lots of it, to keep on keeping on… so it is almost a given that they are hopeful.
It sounds like the point is to write a coming of age story “…realisation that their days as children and lifelong companions may be drawing to an end.” But we can’t tell how they will grow up, in other words we don’t know what it is that happens to them that forces them to transform from boys to men. It is through experiences that people grow up and through the decisions that the characters make that they (and the audience) learn what kind of people they are. It is the specifics of your plot that will describe this in a logline, with out them it is just a generic description of a coming of age concept.
See lessDavis Scott, a quirky southern photographer, and her band of off the wall thirty something friends struggle to survive unwanted dick pics, getting spat on during a date, and ridiculous pick up lines in order to find love in the jungles of Los Angeles.
Loglines for TV will often describe the plot of the pilot. It's the pilot that will sell the show, as it will indicate the type of characters and narratives in the show and how they will continue to generate stories week in week out. In addition pilot's will also demonstrate? the style and tone of tRead more
Loglines for TV will often describe the plot of the pilot.
It’s the pilot that will sell the show, as it will indicate the type of characters and narratives in the show and how they will continue to generate stories week in week out. In addition pilot’s will also demonstrate? the style and tone of the drama or comedy of a show.
Even so called “premise pilots” will do the same. A premise pilot is a pilot that sets up a premise which enables the rest of the show to play out of.
Point is you need to have great characters that exist in perpetual conflict with each other as well as a strong plot for a pilot, and your logline needs to describe all of that.
See lessA troubled young man converts to Islam to please his Muslim girlfriend, gets set up by a psychopathic terrorist in a train bomb attack, he must evacuate his frantic landsmen before a ticking time-bomb kills them.
I think you miss understood the point DPG was making in his post.My opinion is that your concept lacks enough substance and logic to suffice for a feature film. I recommend you either invest your time and effort in a different concept all together, or FUNDAMENTALLY change the current one.If you chooRead more
I think you miss understood the point DPG was making in his post.
My opinion is that your concept lacks enough substance and logic to suffice for a feature film. I recommend you either invest your time and effort in a different concept all together, or FUNDAMENTALLY change the current one.
If you choose the latter (despite all previous comments given) one suggestion I can make is to employ a protagonist/antagonist relationship as the central relationship in the story instead of the love story. In this case the young man converts, for what ever reason – love, ideology or what ever fits the theme, and as a result gets involved with a mentor that turns out to be mad. Towards the end of act one our protagonist realizes that the mentor is planning a terror attack – inciting incident, as a result of this he must fight the mentor gone antagonist to save his fellow countrymen and women on the train.
All the best.
See less