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When an experimental medical chamber explodes, the ensuing capital murder trial pits the accused mother of an autistic boy killed in the blast against the Korean immigrant owners. [28] OR During the capital murder trial following the deadly explosion of an experimental medical chamber, the Korean immigrant owners and other victims must decide whether to reveal the secrets that could exonerate the defendant, the mother of an autistic boy killed in the blast, but devastate their own families. [48] {For a novel – literary courtroom drama]
Agreed with Richiev and DPG. It looks as if the interesting part of your logline is the dilemma the immigrants have as a result of being forced to choose between their own need and that of an innocent stranger. If this is the case then I suggest re structuring the plot in a way that the story elemenRead more
Agreed with Richiev and DPG.
It looks as if the interesting part of your logline is the dilemma the immigrants have as a result of being forced to choose between their own need and that of an innocent stranger. If this is the case then I suggest re structuring the plot in a way that the story elements, which create the dilemma, are? simpler and the cause and effect relationship binding them together is clear.
See lessLogline: A modern orthodox Jewish teenager faces the fallout of having sex with his girlfriend, something specifically prohibited by his faith. He tries to cope with guilt by isolating people and using drugs, leading to conflict with his friends, family, and teachers. His drug use takes him on a downward spiral and a difficult journey to find meaning in his life.
Is the girl also an Orthodox Jew or is she not religious at all? If the later then problem solved, if the former then I agree with DPG she would make for a far more interesting MC than the guy. Secondly think of a logline as a tool to describe the major plot points of your story - inciting incident,Read more
Is the girl also an Orthodox Jew or is she not religious at all? If the later then problem solved, if the former then I agree with DPG she would make for a far more interesting MC than the guy.
Secondly think of a logline as a tool to describe the major plot points of your story – inciting incident, main action and goal. You don’t need to tell the whole story in one logline, only the elements vital to the plot.
See lessHere is a helpful guide on logline basics:
https://loglines.org/howto/
When a gay out of control teenager is kicked out of home, he escapes to L.A. determined to become a porn star but when his lover dies from a drug overdose he embarks upon a spiritual quest that leads him to Bali with the only chance he has left to save his life.
Gstar I am confused, it looks as if you posted a revision for the same logline three times before receiving any feedback. Which of the three versions do you want help with? For purpose of this post I'm assuming the latest version. If you look at the end of the logline, it reads as if his goal is toRead more
Gstar I am confused, it looks as if you posted a revision for the same logline three times before receiving any feedback.
Which of the three versions do you want help with?
For purpose of this post I’m assuming the latest version.
If you look at the end of the logline, it reads as if his goal is to save his life. However, up to that point in the logline you hadn’t mentioned a risk to his life. In other words, the cause and effect relationship between the goal (to save his life) and the events the preceded it seems flawed.
Has he contracted an STD? Is he hooked on drugs? Is he suicidal? What ever it is that puts his life at risk , needs to be elaborated on in the beginning of the logline as it is the inciting incident of the story.
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