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A homophobic singer must race against time to find his estranged doctor when he wakes up in a female’s voice before his next concert.
The urgency of getting his "real" voice back is enough, no need to add the obstacle of finding a doctor. Like in all stories an inner journey is a good thing, him shedding his homophobia and gaining tolerance is great but needs higher stakes. What if he is a singer in a successful neo Nazi heavy metRead more
The urgency of getting his “real” voice back is enough, no need to add the obstacle of finding a doctor.
Like in all stories an inner journey is a good thing, him shedding his homophobia and gaining tolerance is great but needs higher stakes.
What if he is a singer in a successful neo Nazi heavy metal band or a christian fundamentalist group, him sounding gay could have far greater implications than just his career.
See less?In the desolate future, when an isolated and curious teenager is suddenly forced from his collapsing underground bunker into the overgrown wilderness outside, he will have to survive long enough to make a few allies if he is to find his little sister, rumored to be alive.?
Best to describe the events in order i.e inciting incident (sister is taken) then the action (fight for, search for or bargain with to get her back) goal (get the sister back). For example: After his sister is taken by a lawless gang in a post apocalypse desolate future, a [good description] teen muRead more
Best to describe the events in order i.e inciting incident (sister is taken) then the action (fight for, search for or bargain with to get her back) goal (get the sister back).
For example:
See lessAfter his sister is taken by a lawless gang in a post apocalypse desolate future, a [good description] teen must [compelling action] to get his sister back.
When a young mother encounters a random woman in a crowd, she is mysteriously filled with an unceasing desire to kill her, and must do so before the other woman kills her first.
Why would she fear the other woman killing her? This isn't explained in the logline. Also the fact that she is filled with the desire to kill another human, and without context, makes her rather awful the audience would likely not empathize with her.? Dexter, for example, was meticulously setup to lRead more
Why would she fear the other woman killing her? This isn’t explained in the logline. Also the fact that she is filled with the desire to kill another human, and without context, makes her rather awful the audience would likely not empathize with her.? Dexter, for example, was meticulously setup to let the audience learn that he kills for the greater good as well as his own urges and therefore can be liked.
See lessThis woman would need a similar context for the audience to want to watch her do the voodoo that she do so well.