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A subdued house wife’s life is turned upside down when 2 violent criminals wreak havoc in her small town, leading to the death of her husband. She has to fight for justice, and fight to get her life back. But is she really the innocent victim?
No need for questions at the end of a logline, they often work against its purpose."A subdued house wife?s life is turned upside down when 2 violent criminals wreak havoc in her small town, leading to the death of her husband." Is a long way of saying: After a violent criminal kills her husband...BeRead more
No need for questions at the end of a logline, they often work against its purpose.
“A subdued house wife?s life is turned upside down when 2 violent criminals wreak havoc in her small town, leading to the death of her husband.”
Is a long way of saying:
After a violent criminal kills her husband…
Best to employ economy in loglines, as the brevity of a logline is indicative professionalism.
What is the house wife’s goal? What exactly does she want?
See lessIt could be to put the killers in jail for example, what ever it is mention it specifically as “…get her life back…” is to vague a goal for a logline.
Through her visions, a young book shop worker embarks on helping two police detectives catch a masked vigilante killing the men of a vicious career criminal, who killed her family. But is she friend or foe?
The question at the end of the logline should be removed, as the logline's purpose is to describe a plot not tease per say. Secondly the goal is confusing. Why does she want to catch the masked vigilante that's killing the bad guys, wouldn't she want to catch the killer who murdered her family insteRead more
The question at the end of the logline should be removed, as the logline’s purpose is to describe a plot not tease per say.
Secondly the goal is confusing. Why does she want to catch the masked vigilante that’s killing the bad guys, wouldn’t she want to catch the killer who murdered her family instead?
The structure of the logline could be changed to emulate the plot of the story and add clarity, for example:
After a serial killer kills her family, a clairvoyant librarian must work with a police detective to catch the murderer.
See lessRecent English grad sets out to climb the corporate ladder of a tech company, with only the jets setting CEO?s memoir as a guide.
The plot is vague due to lack of story detail. What motivates the main character to need to climb the corporate ladder? What was the event that made him or her need to pursue a career in business? Secondly what is the definitive objective they must achieve which will make it clear the goal of corporRead more
The plot is vague due to lack of story detail.
What motivates the main character to need to climb the corporate ladder? What was the event that made him or her need to pursue a career in business?
Secondly what is the definitive objective they must achieve which will make it clear the goal of corporate success was achieved?? In other words what is the specific story goal?
It could be to be made CEO themselves for example.
See less