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A Secret Service agent kills the President to save the Presidency. 20 years later, he must help save his estranged daughter, the newest President, when she is taken hostage.
Clarity is key in a logline - killing the president to save the presidency doesn't make sense without context and therefore makes your concept confusing. More to the point, you shouldn't waist precious logline real estate on an event that occurred 20 years prior to the start of the story. If the incRead more
Clarity is key in a logline – killing the president to save the presidency doesn’t make sense without context and therefore makes your concept confusing.
More to the point, you shouldn’t waist precious logline real estate on an event that occurred 20 years prior to the start of the story. If the inciting incident is his daughter being taken hostage, then start the logline with that, then describe what he does to fix the situation.
Lastly, how could anyone take a president hostage? It’s a bit hard to believe that a person who’s guarded 24 hours a day and in constant public view could be taken hostage.
See lessTo save her job, a downsized pharmaceutical statistician with Asperger’s uses all her wiles on a dangerous mission to expose ED drug counterfeiters.
Agreed with DPG. I'll add that saving one's job is not a story worthy goal in itself. What is it about this particular job that's so important? Consider The Pursuit of Happiness, for that main character, a job meant a life-changing opportunity. What are the stakes for your character? Lastly, what haRead more
Agreed with DPG.
I’ll add that saving one’s job is not a story worthy goal in itself. What is it about this particular job that’s so important?
Consider The Pursuit of Happiness, for that main character, a job meant a life-changing opportunity.
What are the stakes for your character?
Lastly, what happened that made her need to save her job? What’s the inciting incident?
See lessSeveral years after losing his team in a mission gone wrong, a top grade elite sniper is recruited back to train a team of rising soldiers to stop a group of elite forces trying to kill a foreign politician.
Wouldn't the secret service be all over this? Military personnel wouldn't have the specific skills and resources necessary to take action within a civilian environment, or at least not as well as the Secret Service or CIA.
Wouldn’t the secret service be all over this?
Military personnel wouldn’t have the specific skills and resources necessary to take action within a civilian environment, or at least not as well as the Secret Service or CIA.
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