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In Carella City, ageing can be postponed but not vanquished, until an exiled murderer helps a 157 year old woman evade her creator.
It sounds like you've focused more on developing the special scifi elements than the hero himself. What is the meaning of your story? What's the take away message that's revealed in your hero's actions?
It sounds like you’ve focused more on developing the special scifi elements than the hero himself.
See lessWhat is the meaning of your story? What’s the take away message that’s revealed in your hero’s actions?
Part of the municipal park was deforested. The wild cat Mitzi, remaining orphaned with her brothers, has to leave her home destroyed by wood cutters. She reaches the Big Park Reservation (Rodnei Mountains National Park), where she finds shelter in the abandoned cottage of the forester. It’s Christmas Eve and the inhabitants of the Big Park are preparing for the celebration. Mitzi and her brothers are having trouble even here, being disturbed by the bad guys: Kit-Bandit and Max-Mask. They dress up in wolves in order to scare them away from the reservation. Their true identity is discovered by the wild cat Stripy and his friends. The scheme is foiled and to Mitzi and her brothers are offered a better life, proof that their guardian angel has not left them in trouble…
The above members were very kind in reading your very long post and responding with their thoughts. Here is a different type of kindness; You NEED to learn to logline your own concepts... give it a try I'm sure you'll see you can do it. Once you've posted a logline of some sort,? you'll get far moreRead more
The above members were very kind in reading your very long post and responding with their thoughts.
Here is a different type of kindness; You NEED to learn to logline your own concepts… give it a try I’m sure you’ll see you can do it.
Once you’ve posted a logline of some sort,? you’ll get far more productive responses that will actually help you.
Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for a helpful starting point.
All the best.
See lessWhen a neglected daughter is adopted by a wealthy and powerful man, she must fight her reckless, power hungry mother to keep her new world from falling apart.
Agreed with all the above. Also, in what way will her world fall apart? The term is too vague to work well in a logline. Describe one SPECIFIC and clear danger the mother poses and use that to establish the stakes.
Agreed with all the above.
Also, in what way will her world fall apart?
See lessThe term is too vague to work well in a logline. Describe one SPECIFIC and clear danger the mother poses and use that to establish the stakes.