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When a new prisoner comes to the death row, the guards starts to notice that the innocent man possesses a certain gift to heal.
I would tell this story from the main characters point of view (and most other stories to that mater...) the Tom Hanks character. After a guard is healed by touch by a new mentally disabled inmate on death row he suspects the inmate of having tried to help the victim after her attack instead of killRead more
I would tell this story from the main characters point of view (and most other stories to that mater…) the Tom Hanks character.
After a guard is healed by touch by a new mentally disabled inmate on death row he suspects the inmate of having tried to help the victim after her attack instead of killing her himself he must now find a way to prove his innocence before the execution.
I would say that the inmate being African American and the period being pre civil rights movement is also important as it made the inmates conviction harder to argue against but not sure how to fit that into the logline and not sure it is necessary.
Hope this helps.
See lessBored with his isolated and monotonous life, an apathetic psychologist decides to intentionally go crazy by killing someone at random, believing that if the guilt doesn’t make him go crazy, the asylum to where he will be sent for having no reason for his cruel act will.
This concept seams bizarre and bizarre can be good but in my mind? in this instance it doesn't work as a concept because the bizarre element is un motivated. Why does he suddenly decide to "...go crazy..."? If he is a psychologist would he not know that there is more to "going crazy" than just doingRead more
This concept seams bizarre and bizarre can be good but in my mind? in this instance it doesn’t work as a concept because the bizarre element is un motivated.
Why does he suddenly decide to “…go crazy…”? If he is a psychologist would he not know that there is more to “going crazy” than just doing something bad? By any other standard the act of pursuing his own insanity is in itself insane so wouldn’t he have achieved his goal before killing someone?
In addition I find it hard to believe that an audience would empathize with a MC who kills a person in order to go crazy himself.
About the logline here is no inciting incident and the goal, of going crazy, appears open ended because a question arises, what will he do after he goes crazy?
The second half of the sentence: “…believing that if the guilt doesn?t make him go crazy, the asylum to where he will be sent for having no reason for his cruel act will…” doesn’t describe a plot rather it is an explanation of the MC motivation and should either be significantly reduced or cut all together. If the MC’s motivation isn’t clear from the combination of the inciting incident and goal then an explanation needs to be brief and clear this one isn’t.
Hope this helps.
See lessFour friends navigate the intricacies of their relationships as one struggles with fertility and another is about to become a father through a one night stand. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood, but its likely there will be some casualties along the way.
This logline is vague in nature and fails to describe a plot due to lack of?character descriptions and specific detail. Is there a need for a multi protagonist plot or can there be one main character? Who is the main dramatic point of view character in the story? The next draft of the logline shouldRead more
This logline is vague in nature and fails to describe a plot due to lack of?character descriptions and specific detail.
Is there a need for a multi protagonist plot or can there be one main character? Who is the main dramatic point of view character in the story?
The next draft of the logline should specify what it is that starts off the story, the event that sets it all into motion, in other words what is the inciting incident?
In addition it will need to specify the main character’s goal what does he want and explain how it is connected to the starting event.
Lastly in a logline best to avoid vague descriptions such as “…intricacies of their relationships…” and metaphors such as “…its likely there will be some casualties along the way…” as these do not describe plot specific detail because they are open to multiple interpretations.
Hope this helps.
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