Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
After a restructuring of a television company, an elderly narcissistic newscaster is forced to become a child TV host to maintain his future employment.
This premise sounds promising for a comedy but I think the irony of old guy needs to entertain young people is lost and the comic potential of the basic premise is reduced. Perhaps make him a heavily cynical old guy who must team up with a pop culture icon for a new show then the possibilities for sRead more
This premise sounds promising for a comedy but I think the irony of old guy needs to entertain young people is lost and the comic potential of the basic premise is reduced.
Perhaps make him a heavily cynical old guy who must team up with a pop culture icon for a new show then the possibilities for story, irony and comedy increase.
Lastly what is his goal? Now that the station has been restructured what will he do or want to achieve?
The stakes seam pretty low, is there more at stake for the MC than his employment?
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen two thriving bio engineers finally combine the perfect match of dna, they soon realise that they must stop their own creation before it escalate.
The logline describes backstory and act one of the film but nothing more because of that the logline fails to answer the following questions: What does their creation do or get up to? What is at stake their town? Their country? The world? What specifically is their goal and how will they pursue it?Read more
The logline describes backstory and act one of the film but nothing more because of that the logline fails to answer the following questions:
What does their creation do or get up to?
What is at stake their town?
Their country?
The world?
What specifically is their goal and how will they pursue it?
Hope this helps.
See lessA novice farm boy cultivates the friendship of a scarecrow to save his farming heritage from a witches brewing scheme and win the farmers cup.
The logic employed in the concept is unclear. Has the scarecrow been animated by an external force? Is it a magical scarecrow? What kind of Scarecrow is this that the boy will be able to communicate with it? I would change it to "...friendship of a magical scarecrow..." this way you're stating genreRead more
The logic employed in the concept is unclear. Has the scarecrow been animated by an external force? Is it a magical scarecrow? What kind of Scarecrow is this that the boy will be able to communicate with it?
I would change it to “…friendship of a magical scarecrow…” this way you’re stating genre as well and as a result justifying the super natural elements.
The wording of “…cultivates the friendship of…” feels wrong if this was a business relationship or coworker etc… the verb cultivates can work but if it is a boy and a magical (or what ever type it is) scarecrow then it feels wrong. Perhaps just name a spade a spade and say the boy befriends a magical scarecrow? The semi humorous connection between cultivate and farming is not enough to justify using it either.
Lastly saving the farm seam much higher stakes than winning an obscure farmers cup, cup in what competition exactly to that matter? Best to describe one main goal rather than two unrelated ones of differing stakes.
I put in an inciting incident as the logline was lacking one:
After a witch destroys most of his parents farm a novice farm boy befriends a magical scarecrow to help him kill the witch and save his family home.
Hope this helps.
See less