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Investigating a series of sadistic crimes, a shady Inspector must protect the only survivor and thwart the machination of a sadomasochistic duo to prove his innocence.
The logline reads as if it mentions the inciting incident at the end. If the inspector is accused of murder that should be put in the beginning so it motivates him to pursue proof of his innocence. Secondly troubled is too generic a description for a character flaw, troubled in what way? What does tRead more
The logline reads as if it mentions the inciting incident at the end. If the inspector is accused of murder that should be put in the beginning so it motivates him to pursue proof of his innocence.
Secondly troubled is too generic a description for a character flaw, troubled in what way? What does this make him do? Or not do? How does this flaw effect him or the world around him? Because it raises more questions than answers the MC’s inner journey is not clear.
Secondly, there appear to bee two goals protect the only survivor and prove his innocence which of these is the goal of the A plot which the MC must achieve or else? Take that answer as the only goal to mention in the next draft of the logline.
Hope this helps.
See lessA gangster keen to keep street credibility and protect his boss who wants to go legit will do anything including killing the bosses son.
So who is the MC?
So who is the MC?
See lessEveryone that touches Berry instantly dies a horrible, painful death. Can he get out of the busiest city in the US without killing anyone else?
No need to mention the main character's name also this logline describes a situation not a plot. What does the MC want? What is his goal? What action will he pursue during act 2 of the film? What is his character flaw? What is his inciting incident? What sets him off on his journey to achieve his goRead more
No need to mention the main character’s name also this logline describes a situation not a plot.
What does the MC want? What is his goal? What action will he pursue during act 2 of the film?
What is his character flaw?
What is his inciting incident? What sets him off on his journey to achieve his goal?
Check out this page for logline basics it may help with future re drafts:
https://loglines.org/howto/
Hope this helps.
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