Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Miami Air ramp-service personal engage in the systematic looting of airport luggage and merchandize, which leads to the death of eight ?Ramp Rats? and the arrest of sixty-three other luggage handlers and airport personnel.
This reads more like a news headline than a plot. Who is the MC? What is his or her inciting incident? What does he or she want? Hope this helps.
This reads more like a news headline than a plot.
Who is the MC? What is his or her inciting incident? What does he or she want?
Hope this helps.
See lessSuper star Organized Crime Prosecutor Alan Bell is exposed to toxic chemicals and forced to live near death, in a bubble for eight agonizing years. Upon emerging from his self imposed prison, Alan has acquired a ?sixth sense?, which he uses to take down over two hundred corporate polluters, finally avenging his exposure to lethal elements that had placed him on deaths doorstep.
Agreed with most of what Lee wrote too wordy and un specific for the logline to work. I would add the premise lacks believability and clarity. How does a man logically find himself trapped in a bubble for eight years? How does he eat, drink survive? If this is a super hero story (and it is as he gaiRead more
Agreed with most of what Lee wrote too wordy and un specific for the logline to work. I would add the premise lacks believability and clarity.
How does a man logically find himself trapped in a bubble for eight years? How does he eat, drink survive?
If this is a super hero story (and it is as he gains a superior power) then what is interesting is how he uses it to do good not how he gains the power.
I think best to change the focus of the logline to the plot that comes about from him putting his newly found power to the test and how he achieves a good thing for the community. Best to define what this good thing is, what specifically is his goal? How does he avenge himself? How will this stop the bad guys from doing the same to others?
Use the answers to these questions to re draft the logline.
Hope this helps.
See lessGerald Tinkers rise to track and football stardom as told through his mothers? eyes, culminates with a gold medal in the ?72 Munich Olympics.
Why the 72 Munich Olympics? When setting a story there the implications are clearly to use the terror attacks that took place, are they going to play a role in this story? If not I suggest changing time and place or other wise the story will have a lack luster premise the heightened stakes of life aRead more
Why the 72 Munich Olympics?
When setting a story there the implications are clearly to use the terror attacks that took place, are they going to play a role in this story? If not I suggest changing time and place or other wise the story will have a lack luster premise the heightened stakes of life and death along side dreams of gold.
Hope this helps.
See less