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When a former priest on death row breaks out of prison, all he wants is a fresh start, but his serial-killer split personality only makes it harder for him to evade the FBI? and the lethal injection.
I'm not sure you can be too specific with an MCs goal. It is not clear from the original post that his goal is a fresh start. Either way a fresh start, to settle down and evading the authorities are not goals these are ambitions. Think of a goal as a motivated tangible article made clear with cinemaRead more
I’m not sure you can be too specific with an MCs goal.
It is not clear from the original post that his goal is a fresh start.
Either way a fresh start, to settle down and evading the authorities are not goals these are ambitions. Think of a goal as a motivated tangible article made clear with cinematic visuals not general vague ambitions.
The inciting incident must motivate the MC to achieve the goal the two can’t be separate random plot items.
what is the inciting incident that results in setting the MC off on his journey to achieve what goal?
See lessThree kids who are self proclaimed ‘kings of the school” get their comeuppance when a kid they bullied along with the principal posts embarrassing and inappropriate videos to facebook and youtube.
Agreed with Richiev not sure who the MC is? What is the inciting incident? What does the MC want? Where are these videos being sent to? What is at stake? Hope this helps.
Agreed with Richiev not sure who the MC is?
What is the inciting incident? What does the MC want? Where are these videos being sent to? What is at stake?
Hope this helps.
See less"As a wealthy upper-class young man enters adulthood during the second US civil war, he is suddenly disowned and ousted from his family estate, causing him to experience the life of the impoverished in a military-industrial society, eventually joining the ranks on the front line to prove to his father he deserves his inheritance."
Was there a second US civil war? I thought there was only one in the late nineteenth century. This logline uses too many words to describe too few plot elements "... upper-class young man?" is a vague description if his flaw is being spoiled or immature then say so. Upper-class can be interpreted inRead more
Was there a second US civil war? I thought there was only one in the late nineteenth century.
This logline uses too many words to describe too few plot elements “… upper-class young man?” is a vague description if his flaw is being spoiled or immature then say so. Upper-class can be interpreted in many ways and young man means nothing in a logline as it doesn’t describe enough.
The inching incident should be one event either being disowned or ousted as one is implicit of the other. Secondly let the main character be an active one not passive, the inciting incident shouldn’t cause him to experience something, rather it should motivate him to do something.
Lastly if his goal is money then he is not a particularly nobel character why not make your hero just that a hero. Let his goal be something greater than him this way he will prove that he has learned his lesson and is no longer a spoilt rich boy that cares only for him self.
e.g:
After his father disowns him a spoiled brat must join the army to survive the US civil war and lead his platoon to victory in order to save his home town.
Not sure this is the story but the elements are in the line.
Hope this helps.
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