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When a former priest on death row breaks out of prison, all he wants is a fresh start, but his serial-killer split personality only makes it harder for him to evade the FBI? and the lethal injection.
The audience empathy with your MC will be problematic. Why would the audience root for and want to follow the exploits of a serial killer? This can be done for example Dexter was a vigilante doing society's dirty work that gave him a clear redeeming quality. How will the same be achieved here? SeconRead more
The audience empathy with your MC will be problematic. Why would the audience root for and want to follow the exploits of a serial killer?
This can be done for example Dexter was a vigilante doing society’s dirty work that gave him a clear redeeming quality. How will the same be achieved here?
Secondly what is his goal? Evading the FBI could go on for years and therefore fails to provide a definitive visual of success.
Hope this helps.
See lessA blood thirty time traveller frames a pretty vampire for murder. She has to prove his guilt or she and her clan will die.
Mixing a scifi time travel genre with the vampire genre can be interesting but I think this is running the risk of genre confusion. Is the time travel essential to the plot Ala' 'Back To The Future'? Or is it just a plot device to get the characters together? If the later then it is unnecessary andRead more
Mixing a scifi time travel genre with the vampire genre can be interesting but I think this is running the risk of genre confusion. Is the time travel essential to the plot Ala’ ‘Back To The Future’? Or is it just a plot device to get the characters together?
If the later then it is unnecessary and could possibly cloud the plot by making the concept confusing.
Is the time traveler a vampire as well? Or just likes killing? Why will she and her clan die if she doesn’t prove her innocence? This lack of logic between the plot elements further confuses the concept. If this is made to be the stakes for the MC then she would have a compelling motive to take action.
My try:
After being framed for murder by a serial killer a vampire must prove her innocence to appease the local town folk and prevent them from slaying her entire clan.
Hope this helps.
See lessA retired golf enthusiast is scammed out of his life savings and a country club membership, but when he sees an old man die and moves up to number five on the waiting list, he devises a killer plan to jump to #1
Good comments above and agreed with Lee. The very nature of the character and his plan put audience empathy at great risk I'm not sure a 'Save The Cat Moment' alone could help in this case. Hope this helps.
Good comments above and agreed with Lee. The very nature of the character and his plan put audience empathy at great risk I’m not sure a ‘Save The Cat Moment’ alone could help in this case.
Hope this helps.
See less