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After learning that his father did not die when was 7 a prodigious investment banker sets off to find his dad, and does, at a silent monk monastery halfway across the world
Is the story about his journey on his way to find the father or about his dealing with his family and the father? The logline describes an inciting incident that motivates the MC to achieve the goal of finding his father but not the action the MC will take during act 2 which will be most of the filmRead more
Is the story about his journey on his way to find the father or about his dealing with his family and the father?
The logline describes an inciting incident that motivates the MC to achieve the goal of finding his father but not the action the MC will take during act 2 which will be most of the film.
When and where is the story set? The setting could provide an interesting set of obstacles for the MC and perhaps allude at the type of action the MC will be engaged in during most of the film.
Hope this helps.
See lessJoseph Smith escapes from heaven and comes back to earth and has to convince the world that he wasn’t lying in the first place and convert everyone to mormonism after a significant number of the church members leave .
Is the MC's normal life as in his day to day that of being in heaven? If so then is his banishment form heaven the inciting incident? I ask because the inciting incident is not clear, what was the specific event that started his story? Lying about god and Jesus or banishment from heaven? If the formRead more
Is the MC’s normal life as in his day to day that of being in heaven? If so then is his banishment form heaven the inciting incident?
I ask because the inciting incident is not clear, what was the specific event that started his story? Lying about god and Jesus or banishment from heaven? If the former then his goal would be forgiveness from god if the later then his goal would be to get back into heaven.
As it stands now there is no clear connection between either inciting incident and his goal of converting all of humanity to mormonism.
Hope this helps.
See lessAfter a young talented street musician who suffers from stage fright is moving to New York City and wanting to realize his dream of a breakthrough as a band with his brother, he falls into the hands of a greedy music producer who promises the big deal, but forces him to decide between a successful career as a solo artist or an unknown band life with his brother.
In addition to the above comments there is a fundamental problem with the concept as the stakes are not clear. How does he know he will be famous? No one in their right mind would assume this, especially in the music industry, the concept needs a definitive event that makes it clear he will be famouRead more
In addition to the above comments there is a fundamental problem with the concept as the stakes are not clear.
How does he know he will be famous? No one in their right mind would assume this, especially in the music industry, the concept needs a definitive event that makes it clear he will be famous.
That said, even if you find a perfect event that establishes beyond doubt that the MC is about to be the next Lord and given the choice he has to make it is a no brainer. Become famous make a tone of money then setup a band with his brother this is not a dilemma rather a career strategy at best.
How is this a choice between the lesser of two evils?
How is this all together a choice??
Hope this helps.
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