Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: June 4, 2015In: Public

    After discovering that his father is still alive a prodigious investment banker abandons his Wall Street job to find his dad, and does, at a monk monastery in Tibet where speaking is forbidden.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2015 at 11:23 am

    This is another iteration of the same concept from an earlier post. This draft elaborates on the MC in a way that provides room for more conflict which is a good thing however the lack of clarity in the plot remains unchanged. It is still not clear whether this is a road story with the bulk of the aRead more

    This is another iteration of the same concept from an earlier post. This draft elaborates on the MC in a way that provides room for more conflict which is a good thing however the lack of clarity in the plot remains unchanged.

    It is still not clear whether this is a road story with the bulk of the action being taken on the way to the father or a drama with the bulk of the action taken after meeting the father.

    If it is a road movie; son travels to find father, then the logline needs to elaborate more on the obstacles the son will face on his journey to the father.
    If it is a drama movie; son wants answers from his long lost father vow of silence monk, then the logline positions the inciting incident too late and fails to elaborate on most of the plot.

    Hope this helps.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: June 3, 2015In: Public

    All hell breaks loose when an impertinent alchemist's experiment accidentally opens the gates to hell, and she stands face-to-face with Satan.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2015 at 11:13 am

    Good re write by Richiev. This is a simple concept with clear stakes and good characters the only suggestion I can make is to make it personal. Could it be that the alchemist's motivation was to save her dying father, mother, sister, brother or lover? Now to do so she must do soothing specific to deRead more

    Good re write by Richiev.

    This is a simple concept with clear stakes and good characters the only suggestion I can make is to make it personal.

    Could it be that the alchemist’s motivation was to save her dying father, mother, sister, brother or lover?

    Now to do so she must do soothing specific to defeat Satan in order to save the stakes character and the world?

    After she accidentally releases Satan from hell, an impertinent alchemist must banish him once more in order to release her parents from demonic enslavement and save the world.

    Hope this helps.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: June 3, 2015In: Public

    When the military quarantines a zombie infested Seattle, a ruthless Vampire and his crew must team with a ragtag band of humans to secure the old church they are trapped in or be overrun.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Mixing Zombies and Vampires is a great idea the two have had a long standing trend each in film and this may be a fresh take on the now very tired tropes. I can't but help and empathise with the humans though. It seams that your choice of MC comes across as a convenience more than anything. Why notRead more

    Mixing Zombies and Vampires is a great idea the two have had a long standing trend each in film and this may be a fresh take on the now very tired tropes.

    I can’t but help and empathise with the humans though. It seams that your choice of MC comes across as a convenience more than anything.

    Why not make it about the humans? Pick a leader amongst them and let him or her need to fight both enemies. The humans are a source of food for zombies and vampires alike they have the most at stake with the biggest obstacles, their story sounds more interesting.

    Hope this helps.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 682 683 684 685 686 … 927

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,002
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,734

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.