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After discovering that his father is still alive a prodigious investment banker abandons his Wall Street job to find his dad, and does, at a monk monastery in Tibet where speaking is forbidden.
This is another iteration of the same concept from an earlier post. This draft elaborates on the MC in a way that provides room for more conflict which is a good thing however the lack of clarity in the plot remains unchanged. It is still not clear whether this is a road story with the bulk of the aRead more
This is another iteration of the same concept from an earlier post. This draft elaborates on the MC in a way that provides room for more conflict which is a good thing however the lack of clarity in the plot remains unchanged.
It is still not clear whether this is a road story with the bulk of the action being taken on the way to the father or a drama with the bulk of the action taken after meeting the father.
If it is a road movie; son travels to find father, then the logline needs to elaborate more on the obstacles the son will face on his journey to the father.
If it is a drama movie; son wants answers from his long lost father vow of silence monk, then the logline positions the inciting incident too late and fails to elaborate on most of the plot.
Hope this helps.
See lessAll hell breaks loose when an impertinent alchemist's experiment accidentally opens the gates to hell, and she stands face-to-face with Satan.
Good re write by Richiev. This is a simple concept with clear stakes and good characters the only suggestion I can make is to make it personal. Could it be that the alchemist's motivation was to save her dying father, mother, sister, brother or lover? Now to do so she must do soothing specific to deRead more
Good re write by Richiev.
This is a simple concept with clear stakes and good characters the only suggestion I can make is to make it personal.
Could it be that the alchemist’s motivation was to save her dying father, mother, sister, brother or lover?
Now to do so she must do soothing specific to defeat Satan in order to save the stakes character and the world?
After she accidentally releases Satan from hell, an impertinent alchemist must banish him once more in order to release her parents from demonic enslavement and save the world.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen the military quarantines a zombie infested Seattle, a ruthless Vampire and his crew must team with a ragtag band of humans to secure the old church they are trapped in or be overrun.
Mixing Zombies and Vampires is a great idea the two have had a long standing trend each in film and this may be a fresh take on the now very tired tropes. I can't but help and empathise with the humans though. It seams that your choice of MC comes across as a convenience more than anything. Why notRead more
Mixing Zombies and Vampires is a great idea the two have had a long standing trend each in film and this may be a fresh take on the now very tired tropes.
I can’t but help and empathise with the humans though. It seams that your choice of MC comes across as a convenience more than anything.
Why not make it about the humans? Pick a leader amongst them and let him or her need to fight both enemies. The humans are a source of food for zombies and vampires alike they have the most at stake with the biggest obstacles, their story sounds more interesting.
Hope this helps.
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