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When a schizophrenic man is released from a futuristic mental institution, specializing in curing your inner ?demons?, learns that he is being hunted by an assassin, he must rely on his fragmented memories to survive.
You've just identified the core of your story. Forget backstory and setting in this instance I suggest revers engineering your concept from the goal. Goal - Stop the man running the institute. Now ask; why does the MC need to do this? The answer should be as a result of a specific event that happeneRead more
You’ve just identified the core of your story.
Forget backstory and setting in this instance I suggest revers engineering your concept from the goal.
Goal – Stop the man running the institute.
Now ask; why does the MC need to do this?
The answer should be as a result of a specific event that happened to the MC.
A few suggestions would be;
The man conducted an un ethical experiment on the MC he now needs revenge and wants to prevent this from happening to others.
The man killed the MC’s family or friends he now needs revenge and wants to prevent this from happening to others.
The man illegally lobotomised the MC’s family or friends he now needs revenge and wants to prevent this from happening to others.
There are many more options I’m sure so pick the best one and use that as the inciting incident.
See lessUse that to start your logline then describe your character briefly and write in the goal.
A boy who spent all his life believing he was weak, suddenly discovers that there is something, something special about himself. He never understood until he fell 1200 feet off a mountain during a trek; and survived without a scratch.
"A boy who spent all his life believing he was weak, suddenly discovers that there is something, something special about himself" This could potentially be a tag line for marketing purposes but shouldn't be in the logline. It seams that falling off a mountain is a significant enough an event to suffRead more
“A boy who spent all his life believing he was weak, suddenly discovers that there is something, something special about himself”
This could potentially be a tag line for marketing purposes but shouldn’t be in the logline.
It seams that falling off a mountain is a significant enough an event to suffice for an inciting incident. In my opinion start the logline with:
After a boy falls 1200 feet off a mountain and survives without a scratch?
Only you will need to come up with a goal that correlates to this inciting incident appropriately.
Hope this helps.
See lessA FEMALE ALIEN LANDS ON THE PANET IN THE SPACE WHERE ONLY MALES LIVE. THE MALES GET SCARED FROM THE FEMALE BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY. THE FEMALE TRIES TO SOLVE THE HISTORICAL PROBLEM OF THE MALES'S PLANET, SHE WANTS FEMALES BACK THERE.
WHY IS THE WHOLE LOGLINE IN CAPS? This logline uses too many words to describe a vague situation that lacks a plot. By using a definite article "the" with planet, it is implied the reader should know which plant this is, in such cases usually it is Earth. Since the logline mentions aliens it indicatRead more
WHY IS THE WHOLE LOGLINE IN CAPS?
This logline uses too many words to describe a vague situation that lacks a plot.
By using a definite article “the” with planet, it is implied the reader should know which plant this is, in such cases usually it is Earth. Since the logline mentions aliens it indicates that it isn’t on Earth and therefore begs the question; Which planet is this referring to?
Who is the main character?
What does the MC want?
Is the landing on the planet the inciting incident? If so it was of her own doing and therefore makes for a week inciting incident however if she were to crash instead this would make for a more significant event out of her control that forces her to take action to fix her situation and therefore a better inciting incident.
Lastly best to avoid vague descriptions such as “…TRIES TO SOLVE THE HISTORICAL PROBLEM?”.
Hope this helps.
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